God, you've got a sense of humor.

when I was home at the end of march, I read through my old journals and found two entries from a little over four years ago. I started this blog but never finished it and made connections with 2005 to 2009.

Funny how God works. Take note of the dates :]

January 22nd, 2005
Hey there Lord. Thank you for being with me today at MSU. I really needed to feel like a school was good for me, but I am still not certain if that is where you want me to go. So I pray for your guidance with that God. I'm really worried about how many people go there from Saline and I am not sure I like that. It is also just really big and confusing. I would be lost in a second! Especially since I still can't navigate our new high school hallways. Also, I don't know if I want to go somewhere where YL is so big, I want something new and different.

January 30th, 2005
I spent the past weekend at Loyola. I really like the friendly people, how close it was to downtown, and the way I pictured myself there. Although, I can't quite figure out if it would be fulfilling your will or my dream. So, I need to sit down and think this one out with you. Please God, this is a big decision and I need to know that you support me.

March 11th, 2005
God, I really wanted to go to Loyola or Indiana. Now you've given me this cancer crap and I'm stuck in Michigan. Why can't I just switch doctors? Why am I 18 and already having to base my life paths on medical treatment? Why can't I just go where I want to go? I understand the cancer, I understand the peace you've put in my heart about that, but I don't understand why it has to carry over into my college choice. Can't I just go, leave, and learn? I'll turn in my housing stuff tomorrow, but I'm not going to be happy about it.


March 15th, 2009
Michigan State has given me everything I could hope for. The grace of God in friendships, classes, professors, crushes, and conversations. The peace of God has sent me to Williamston middle school girls who need love, joy, and simplicity...all of which I understand. The challenge of God has lead to me to a career focus that digs deep into my greatest insecurities and forces me to die at the feet of Jesus every day. God, thank you for Michigan State. Thank you for Spartans, for March Madness, and for all the people you have introduced me to in the past four years. Cancer will never win, but I have learned that it will lead me closer to a heart that is rooted in your peace, your grace, your simplicity and your challenges.