My greatest strength is also my greatest weakness.
I've know this to be true for pretty much my whole life.... but today it became crystal clear to me for the thousandth time in my life (thanks to Noel' message).
I've pretty much always been a softy - a tender hearted and caring girl who sees the good in most situations. I unconsciously smile all the time and just seem to have this ongoing source of encouragement for other people in my life. That has been me since I can remember and (in response to Katie's blog) That is what the sign would say if people wanted to know me before they met me, and these qualities are what I know others would say are my strengths.
The twist is that this type B personality is one that weighs me down and defines the weakness in my life.
In the process of being this picture perfect person that everyone loves, there have been so many times in my life where my personal validation ha relied on what people think of me. My money, time, resources, and stressful time in my life has been spent maintaining the Lauren Wojcik image that I feel held too.
I can encourage just about anyone in the world. I can find the best qualities of the worst person. I can see joy in the hardest situations for my friends. But I can't do this when it comes to my heart and my life.
My greatest strength is also my greatest weakness.
This is the reason for my struggle with relationships, my weight, and my in ability to take leaps of faith. My strengths are the shiny clean outside of a dirty and unscrubbed pot.
The first step in cleaning out the inside of my pot? Taking another grip with my tired hands. Digging into something I feel like I've been digging into my whole life. This is my struggle and will continue to be my struggle my whole life. My pride comes from the picture perfect Lauren Wojcik image and the clean outside of a shiny pot. My humbleness comes from honesty with people in my life to hold me accountable to seeking Jesus's perfection in my heart.
What do you know... I'm going to find ways to enjoy this struggle :]
2 comments:
Oh, Woj... I so thought of you and your lovely heart when Noel was talking about people who are SO GOOD at encouraging others... and I wondered about how that must weigh you down sometimes.
I care a lot about what other people think of me - I want to have it all together (or to at least look like it) when it should be totally the other way around.
Wouldn't it be great to have the insides all right and focused... EYES FIXED ON JESUS and not care a lick if the outside matches up perfectly? (Which you pretty much know it would, because God is awesome like that - good tree, good fruit).
I love, dirty and unscrubbed or shiny, squeaky clean.
And I miss your face.
That should say
"I love YOU, dirty and unscrubbed or shiny, squeaky clean"
You.
:)
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