on selfies & results.

to my old fast(er) running self,

It's kind of fun to see you again.

Thanks,
Lauren

Praising God for continued opportunities to feel healthy and strong.
Physical activity & encouragement for others is the center of this heart. Although, those closest to me know that encouraging myself to get out there is not always the easiest task.

This fall the wind changed & I found some source of determination, - I got sick of staying still; I let go of what weighed me down and I started seeing that the sacrifice to take time to exercise was an opportunity to be my best.

Friends, I write from what I hope is a humble place.  I don't want to be one of "those crazy exercise people." I fear being addicted or making something a disorder or an idol. I've seen so many walk that line - and I know how easy it is to be there.

This month's deliberate task has been approaching every day as if I were modeling it for my future daughter. I learned this from two good friends who are currently raising four little ones who watch their every move. Kids watch, learn, and repeat. I want all to know that beauty is so much more then what reflects back at them.

I do want to make food and exercise choices that are rooted in goodness and truth. I fear making it an idol or something that can be considered a disorder. Discipline & self control have a time and a place. But it's not all the time, and it's not everywhere.

I don't desire to constantly be stealing looks in the mirror, or to spend crazy amounts of time getting ready. But I do. It's so easy to control what you wear or how you do your hair - but changing the heart is a different kind of pampering.

Instead, I've been asking for confidence and joy through the choices I make and in the way I pray for the Lord's work through me. I've been taking care of this body like the Lord does live in it and someday (Lord willing) so will another little human.  I've been asking to see my body for what it is and not what it's not. And there has been fruit.

Some things got stronger and bigger, some things got stronger and smaller, some times got faster, and some distances seemed shorter. That's answers. Praise God for answers.

I write this now - so later in life when I find myself in a stopped moment, a time where I don't feel my best... that I can read this and remember this:

1. Exercising & resting are not options & they are always opportunity.
2. Comparison kills, do what you do for you - not for anyone else.
3. If you have the disposable income, make a gym or a studio or a place of fitness and health your home.

Keep moving friends. 
I've learned the best movement (physical, spiritual, and emotional) comes from the best rest. 
So be rested too.


P.S. 9 year check-up done! The stickers still crack me up - so does the Beanie Baby I got this time for going to Peds :)

...I'd highlight that.

“If we want to live a wholehearted life, we have to become intentional about cultivating rest and play and we must work to let go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth.”

[Brené Brown]

on mornings...

Two out of four months this year have started on the west coast.  That's amazing.

The first day of each month continues to be precious to my heart.

It's a new page on the calendar, 

with my incredible people to love & be loved by, 

many events to unfold, 

and the gift of time - so precious to open. 

Sidenote:

It's amazing the clarity that comes from jogging with dawn and mountains. Just saying. 

Happy April!

Why I Wake Early

by Mary Oliver

Hello, sun in my face.

Hello, you who make the morning

and spread it over the fields

and into the faces of the tulips

and the nodding morning glories,

and into the windows of, even, the

miserable and crotchety–

best preacher that ever was,

dear star, that just happens

to be where you are in the universe

to keep us from ever-darkness,

to ease us with warm touching,

to hold us in the great hands of light–

good morning, good morning, good morning.

Watch, now, how I start the day

in happiness, in kindness.

“Why I Wake Early” is the title poem of Mary Oliver’s 2004 collection Why I Wake Early. 

fullness.

the moments that play on repeat in your heart - are they the ones you'd expect to be there?

Do you notice that the big moments - whether it is a beginning (dating, marriage, new house, etc.) or an ending (prom, graduation, retirement, etc.) - are surrounded with expectations? I used to think that these big life moments would be the ones that'd move me, change me, or be the "one day I wish I could relive."

Lately, I've been replaying the under the radar stuff. 

because gratitude lives in the small and

expectations always seem to lie in the large.

like seeing my sister hold her daughter for the first time -

or watching my Dad eat breakfast with his golfing buddies

and photographing my friend & roomate on the porch of her dream #lovelansing house.

like baptisms at Riverview

or "meet you halfway" dinners with Detroit friends

and underwater cameras and bartending with the cousins.

like phone conversations with my twin

or St.Patty's day celebrations just because

and 8 mile rivertrail runs after work on Fridays.

like adrenaline seeking with Mark on trips to the UP

or giggles & storytime with the best three Burley girls

and denim couch chats with Katie & baby Graham.

like Claddaugh's laughter fits with Dilyn

or Justin Beiber singing - empty movie theatre singing with Katie

and live music with Johnny Pomeroy & the HOSA crew.

like hilly San Francisco jogs

or fresh seafood and patio seating with Aunts and Uncles

and coffee mugs and wedding planning in Seattle.

these moments

i love.

these moments

are sacred. 

gratitude lives in history and makes room for hope in future.