I needed that.

I was reminded.

Battered and bruised, scared and lost, full or adventure but tired of not having direction - I remembered where home was. We were about as far back as we could be in Peppersauce Cave and I realized that all I had been doing for the past 20 minutes was praying.

Maybe it was the fact that I was crawling through spaces smaller then a pillow, or the awareness that there was currently thousands of tons of the earth pressing down on me from all sides.  It could have been the low quality of oxygen or the bruised and battered knees and hands I felt under the inches of mud on my clothes.

Whatever it was, I needed that reminder. 

"Home" is in my heart, that is where Jesus lives and He is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer.

 "Jesus answered, 'I am the way, the truth, and the light.  

No one comes to the Father except through me.'"

John 14:6

I miss home.

I think this is the first time I really say those words and that creeping choking feeling comes up in the back of my throat - but right now home is so many different things to me.

Home is Jesus.

Home is family.

Home is knowing I could be there in a heartbeat for my friends.

Home is Michigan.

Home is stability. 

Home is comfort.

Instead, tonight I wrap up another week in the Starbucks parking lot, googling the MSU game while hitting "refresh" endlessly, and I head "home" to a place that currently holds new beginnings and uncertainty, a place that dares me to take risks and asks me hard questions. 

I'll start with Peppersauce Cave this weekend - this seems like a good dare to take. 

MLK Jr.

"We are now faced with the fact, my friends, that tomorrow is today. We are confronted with the fierce urgency of now. In this unfolding conundrum of life and history, there is such a thing as being too late. Procrastination is still the thief of time. Life often leaves us standing bare, naked, and dejected with a lost opportunity. The tide in the affairs of men does not remain at flood -- it ebbs. We may cry out desperately for time to pause in her passage, but time is adamant to every plea and rushes on. Over the bleached bones and jumbled residues of numerous civilizations are written the pathetic words, "Too late."

Close to Home.

Tucson could really use your prayers right now.  I feel like I am in the middle of a battle zone and that there are armies of angels overhead fighting for peace and healing.  It's amazing how I seem to live in this HUGE city, but that a nationwide catastrophe happened at the Safeway Grocery store just 2 miles down the street. That 6 people died on the sidewalk I take every Sunday morning and Friday night.

In my selfish opinion, that is way too close to home.

Which is bringing me to question the reality of my own sheltered heart and the question - is my faith only strong when I know it is protected?

That's hard.