the dot game.

When we were little and at a restaurant, there was this game that my mom and dad would always start on the paper place mats.

I'm sure you've played it before, the one where you set up a grid of somthing like 20 x 20 dots, and you just start connecting lines between you and your partner hoping to make a square. At the end, when all the dots were connected who ever had the most number of squares was the winner. (see left).

some were started a while ago in WORD, just needed to copy and paste.
Lots of new thoughts and ideas on my mind, trying to connect dots and learn new things.
It's a pretty cool time in life, things seem so untraceable but so real at the same time.

so here's to the string of post clogging up your dashboard. here's to the dots we are all trying to connect.

here's to the chances we have to go outside the lines, take a diagonal pathway, zig zag it up, but still remember our boundaries - the word of God.

furious longing.

This little black book I am reading right now is leaving me in tears every night. A simple 5 pages of very few words are being written permanently on my heart. The Furious Longing of God by Brennan Manning, is a small in stature but BIG in wisdom book.

I've told many of you that I always have to be careful about the books I read because I will believe what it says and assume that it is based off God's words without even checking. Well, not this time.

I've never heard of Brennan Manning before, partially because I avoid Christian books, but also because titles like The Ragamuffin Gospel and The Furious Longing of God intimidate me. Unless they have a good cover, I won't even think of reading them. So here I am, reading the first chapter on Amazon and pretty much electrocuting myself because the tears are splashing on my keyboard :] haha. I knew this book was going to hit me in those deep corners and force me to keep looking face to face with my inner white elephant(s).

And the best part...My bible is open when I am reading it. Brennan Manning paints the scripture into his writing in a way that causes me to want to search the bible, it leads me to God's words and takes the focus off of the authors.

That is powerful.

"The men and women who are truly filled with light are those who have gazed deeply into the darkest of their own imperfect existence." [brennan manning]

This brings me to what Dilyn and I talked about on our walk yesterday...how it is our immediate response to go to other people before we go to God. How we stifle God's voice to a whisper because we make our lives so busy and filled with noise, but really, God is SHOUTING and SINGING, and LAUGHING, and LOVING BOLDLY...every second of every day.

Take a walk down Grand River, right before 10:20 classes, turn off your I-pod, and just listen. Open your eyes to the people around you, making your heart vulnerable to those you see, turn your ears towards your prayers and to the shouts that God is boldly sending your way.

God is everywhere and that is a great reinforcment for the hope He has placed in our hearts.

almost sugar-free!

hello friends.
this is an encouraging blog post. so put your encouraging hat on.

this summer i am going home to live with my parents, and it is one of my main goals and missions to help my mom stop smoking. She has asked me to hold her accountable, and I graciously accepted. I've been doing a ton of research on this and trying to figure out the best way I can help her, I decided that on April 24th that one of the best ways to do this would be by giving something up that I really like too. What would that be? Well SUGAR of course!

So here were my guidelines:

Objective: Give up processed sugar as much as I could (candy/sweets/cookies/etc.)
Goal: Only eat sweets 2 times in two weeks.
Known Hardest Obstacle: All the sweets at our house and the Leadership desserts
Known Easiest part: taking it out of my coffee/oatmeal

Unknown discovery: Remove sugar from a.m. meals and you will be less likely to eat it throughout the day, people are offended when you turn down their food, I eat sugar a lot and this was good for me to analyze.

Anyways, this blog is a cry for help for the next couple of days until Saturday. I didn't have dessert from leadership or WYLDlife, I've munched from the puppy chow on the table Saturday night, and nothing today.

I've realized the addictive behavior sugar can play and hope that it provides a little bit of vulnerability in my heart towards my mom and her addiction. I am excited to continue with this experiment, but know that I can't wait for a graduation treat :] oh and know that i don't do substitute sugar either (except for diet soda), that is a chemical disaster just waiting to give you cancer!

much love.

powerful song.

Goodbye my Lover.
by James Blunt

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

[chorus below]
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer and when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

[chorus]

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.