Last night we were shoulder to shoulder around a kitchen island with cars loaded and coats still on - lost in the blessing of another Saturday evening together. We are a small group of newer friends who share hearts for Saturday night church and fellowship. I can't move forward in this post without acknowledging the timeliness of the Lord's hand that has woven me into the mix of these beautifully independent souls.
Our conversation often leads to how we've been using our gift of singleness and what relationships the Lord has been bringing into our lives. Andy Stanley's sermon from 2011 was referenced (The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating) and friends quoted words I'd been blessed to hear over 3 years ago.
The same link was sent my way in 2011- in the midst of a season of my walk that didn't have anything to give & didn't feel worthy of receiving. A month later, after my departure from the city I had called home for 11 months, I decided to switch from my "Back Roads" play list to this Andy Stanley's wisdom.
In order to follow the rest of this post, I recommend starting the series: "The Right Person Myth" and know that the take home from this message was: "Becoming the person who the person you are looking for is looking for is hard. But it is not as hard as getting married and being unprepared. Think about a couple of things you can do this week to become that person—the right person."
What I was leaving was a punctured wound seeping with lack of closure. What I saw myself driving towards was my historical legalistic self - uncertain of how I would walk in the Spirit. It was dark, deep, and not a place I thought my 23 year old mind would ever be. As Andy's voice carried me through another 60 miles of Texas highways I kept thinking, "I'm not sure I would know how to become the person someone else is looking for." I also thought, "Even if I did become that person, I was not worthy of having that person."
Knowing this was nothing my God writes in His gospel of Jesus Christ, knowing full well that this was not rooted in truth - my tear splashed prayers on that open road asked God to change my heart. I asked Him BOLDLY for thoughts that actually rooted for my heart and for thoughts that rooted for the possibility of having a person to marry someday. I finished by asking Him for clarity on where I could practice this act of "becoming" ...
In the last 20 minutes, Andy digs into 1 Corinthians 13 and starts talking about patience. He reminds listeners that love is patient and it never pressures, gives as much time and space as the other person needs. When I heard this, I knew this was my starting point. To become "the person" it started with patience - and this patience needed to be practice with myself first so it could overflow into my relationships with others.
It's been a muddy, tough, confrontational, three years. It's also been a grace filled, deep in light, baptized in the Spirit, rich in wisdom, saturated in truth three years. I couldn't give God a timeline; but I could ask Him for time, acknowledge the work He has done in His time, and walk intentionally with the time that he gave me.
The art of "becoming" is a forever adventure of leaning in and trusting. So today, I''m grateful for this answered prayer of patience. I'm hopeful that I'm closer to being the "person" and humbled daily that the best action I can take is to pray. Pray that (in the Lord's time) I am becoming the woman who the man the Lord wants me to marry is looking for.
And pray that someday, the practice of patience leads to another answered prayer in my walk - and in yours.
(*Take a look at the prayers you've written in your typed entries/journals/notes over the years. You'll be incredibly encouraged in all the ways the Lord has answered. If you don't currently write down your prayers, do it. I'll even buy you paper and a special pen.)
(*Take a look at the prayers you've written in your typed entries/journals/notes over the years. You'll be incredibly encouraged in all the ways the Lord has answered. If you don't currently write down your prayers, do it. I'll even buy you paper and a special pen.)
