glee

. . . . . glee . . . . .

In scripture, I often stumble upon the word glee as an emotion that enemies and the evil spirits feel when they see me struggling and stumbling in my walk of faith.

Fortunately, that very word which they use against me has recently be enlightening my heart and leading me to a place of joyful peace in the arms of God.

Not only has God been deepening my understanding of mercy and grace, but He has continued to show me glimpses of sheer GLEE in my heart fighting for faith.I have all these dreams, these hopes, these ambitions.... and I just need to GO. I am constantly surrounded by people who have gone, who are going, who are not stopped, who push through, who don't give in, who don't give up, and who live.

Jesus just did it. He kept going. He fought. He battled. He moved. He felt the urgency. He pushed. He took people with Him.

I'm learning to understand my strength apart from the world's definition.
I'm fighting for that gleeful faith that doesn't stop when the world tells me no.

I'm in battle with some of the strongest friends I know.
Christ is at the center of so many churches in Lansing, in Ann Arbor, and in Grand Rapids.
My brothers and sisters are spread out farther then that.
We are fighting separate and together with persevering spirits.
And we have been for the past four and a half years.

It hurts my heart to think I might not have the luxury of being down the road from so many strong and faithful servants next year. It sucks to think of starting at square one.

With the combination of Christ's grace and mercy, and the glee of my growing faith - I am not scared, I will GO confidently in the direction of continuing the mission Christ has called me to finish.

And, of course, I will go gladly with glee in my heart.
Christ will help me as I walk towards complete unknowns.
As I redefine the gravity and comfort of my home, my mitten, the beautiful state of Michigan.

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I am defying gravity
And you wont bring me down

I'm through accepting limits
cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost

Merry Christmas friends.

Blessings to you and your families as the world takes time to celebrate the birth of God's Son, Jesus Christ, our savior and bridge to heaven.

Another trip into the grand state of Illinois to visit the family I love dearly. I cry out for reminders of what this season is about as I am alone in the fight for Christ in my family. I pray for reminders of the miracle this SEASON brings to our lives, the joy, the hope, and the peace that comes from the love of Christ.

I pray for the battlefield that will surround our family as we let materialistic thoughts consume our minds. I pray that I can be a servant to the purpose of this season. I pray that the miracle of Christ will shine through me in ways I can't even imagine.

I can't wait to hear those angels and the mountains replying, I can't wait to witness the strength of their joyous song in heaven.

...and the mountains in reply,echoing their joyous strains...

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with
compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as
the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them
all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as

[Colossians 3:12-15]

“ Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world
gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

[John 14:27]

“Where is his peace to be found? The answer is surprising but it is clear.
In weakness. Few people are telling us this truth, but there is peace to be
found in our own weakness, in those places of our hearts where we feel most
broken, most insecure, most in agony, most afraid. Why there? Because in manipulating our weakness our familiar ways of controlling and manipulating our world are being stripped away and we are forced to let go from doing much, thinking much, and relying on our self-sufficiency. Right there where we are most vulnerable, the peace that is not of this world is mysteriously hidden.”

[Henri Nouwen]

Praise God for the conclusion to a study on Advent, a beautiful season of the year.

2009 in pictures.

23 years

he's my twin.
i was chubby. he was nerdy.
he loved the computer, i hated that i could never get on.
he loved video games, they made me dizzy.
he was in the advanced classes and i asked him for help every night.
he went to u of m, and I became a spartan.

when we were little....
we would race upstairs and see who could get in their pajamas the fastest.
winner would get to pick what we watched on tv for the next 1/2 hour.
when we were five we would have lifting competitions to see who was the strongest.
we were always an inch apart in height until he sprouted.
i used to protect him on the bus from anything i thought might harm him.
it was a big deal when we got to stay up and watch Home Improvement.
when he was home sick, it felt weird not seeing him at school.
i always did most of the talking, but he always had the most profound thoughts.
he was always such a gentleman to my friends, i loved that about him.
his friends were scared of me, i think.

it's weird to think that i might not be an hour away from this guy anymore.

who knows where I'll be this time next year, but he's sticking around and I'm probably heading out of town.

I have so many prayers for him, so many hopes, so much love. He is such a great man, and I am so excited to see the plans God has in store for him.

Happy 23rd birthday bro.

reminders.

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. [Matthew 18:21-22]

If one can't forgive they've become centered on selfishness, not Jesus.



Even if the person you are trying hardest to forgive is yourself.

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. [Matthew 6:14-16]

422.

what the burley's teach me summed up in simple beautiful words.

Miss no single opportunity of making some small sacrifice, here by a smiling look, there by a kindly word. Always doing the smallest right and doing it all for love.

[St. Therese]

grateful for what is old, making room for what is going to be new.

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.
It turns what we have into enough, and more.
It turns denial into acceptance,
chaos to order, confusion to clarity.
It can turn a meal into a feast,
a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today,
and creates a vision for tomorrow."
Melody Beattie
Quoted in "Simple Abundance", by Sarah Ban Breathnach

What Cancer Cannot Do
It cannot cripple Love
It cannot shatter Hope
It cannot corrode Faith
It cannot destroy Peace
It cannot kill Friendship
It cannot suppress Memories
It cannot silence Courage
It cannot invade the Soul
It cannot steal Eternal Life
It cannot conquer the Spirit.
[Author Unknown]

evaluation.

Time is Ticking.

STILL HAVE TO DO.

• Make Mom's pumpkin bread (this is going to the November List)
  
• Rake leaves and JUMP in them
  
• Take a nature walk and document with photographs
  
• Learn to make pie *
• Learn to make Katie's apple cookies*
• Go canoeing/kayaking* (dil and I tried, but it was POURING)
  
• Drive up to Grand Haven and watch the sunset over Lake Michigan*
• Pick my own apples (not just Meijers, haven't done this since I was 5)*
• Go to a Corn maze* (never done this...crazy I know!)
  
• tall nonfat no whip Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks :]

PLANNED.

• See some Trick-or-Treaters (haven't done this in a few years) with HAZEL and MIGGS!

DONE.

• Get in a 10+ miler (okay it was 7.5.... but still :))
• Enjoy the homecoming festivities of the Bath Community
• Tailgate at a MSU football game
• Carve pumpkins
• Bonfire and Apple cider
• Drive to the top of the Shaw Ramp at MSU and look at all the trees
  
• Press the first three leaves I find (orange, yellow, red)
• Candy corn on the first day of Autumn

So beyond excited.

a community.

The mature Christians I have met along the way are those who have failed and have learned to live gracefully with their failure. Faithfulness requires the courage to risk everything on Jesus, the willingness to keep growing, and the readiness to risk failure throughout out lives. [b.m.]

Community. People. Friends. Live a life of love.

things that matter.

Sometimes he lets that boss get in his head
He can’t past that mountain of deadlines on his desk
5oclock he’s that last one out of the gate
And he gets cut off flipped off ticked off out on the interstate
And he wonders why this world won’t leave him alone
Till he hears that little voice “daddy’s home”
Things that matter
Things that don’t

She’s held on to that grudge all her life
And thirty years of anger
Since her dad walked out that night
She thinks of all the moments that he's missed
All the birthdays ballets first date
That seems too much to forget
She gets that call that said he don’t have long
She walks in
He starts crying
The past is gone
[ Rascal Flatts Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
Things that matter
Things that don’t

Time ain’t on my side
Don’t want to leave this world
With why didn’t I?
Why didn’t I?
Yeah why didn’t I?

Sometimes I take on this world by myself
Thinking I got all the answers
Don’t need anybody’s help
Well god was right there waiting for me all along
To fall down on my knees surrender all
Things that matter
Things that don’t
Things that matter
Things that don’t

4 minutes and thirty seconds.


we miss you joe.

the hazel & lorden show.

hazel: push the buddon? lorden. push the buddon?

mental notes to self.

notes from the weekend
- catching up on odds and ends is great
- claire finished her 2nd marathon, and qualified for boston, UNBELIEVABLE!
- saying yes to fun is good for the heart
- remember that west side deli is good
- deleting phone numbers is not an effective way to stop communicating
- mom's birthday is tomorrow
- family first always
- want a ride to the chicago area this weekend?
- marathons are amazing
- i sure hope my future spouse understands why i love to run
- look at that beautiful fall painting outside, oh wait...that is real
- i vote Millenium Park as the next best date spot on the west side of the state
- no i do not know how to mobile upload pictures
- Hazel and I have discovered photo booth on my computer (see next post)

goosebumps.

yes, it's all for you.

donovan colours and pumpkin spice coffee.

deciding that taking a late grade on an assignment so I could be with friends, spending time in the peace of God's beautiful fall morning, spoiling my CC runners rotten with breakfast at school, taking my time to get to class, blogging a little bit, day dreaming about what this weekend will bring.

that is what i need in my mind right now.

not all these adult things. all these future things. all these what ifs and thoughts.

just me. here. in the bliss of God's warmth and the tightness of his strength and the glory of his righteousness.

nothing more. nothing less.

peace be with you on this friday friends. keep psalm 139 on your heart.

it really is all for you Lord.

chisel chisel.

Popcorn, IN

My mom works at Meijer and they just started carrying this new gourmet, handcrafted, simply DELICIOUS, melts in your mouth, heaven in a bag Kettle corn Popcorn.

http://www.popcornindiana.com/

It is now my new dream to visit Popcorn, IN.

Go get your bag today. It's a bit pricey, but SO worth it. ($3.29)

i love gone wired.

I love Gone Wired.

They find my Mac charger and save it under the counter with a personalized sticky note. They make me a special sandwich that is all my own. They know me as the Tuesday/Thursday girl.

When I came here freshman year with Mark Brown... I thought it was the weirdest place I had ever been. They only had drinks and I still didn't trust public Wi-Fi on my brand spankin' new Compaq college laptop. Coffee shop studying was a weird concept and the fact that I was down town Lansing made me even more creeped out.

I've grown out of that judgmental stage. This is a sweet spot. The only way it could get a little bit better would be with different lighting, real chocolate milk, a turkey sandwich, and a popcorn machine.

Anywho, I am thankful for the quirkiness of the locals, the simplicity of recycling and reusing, and the fact that when you walk in this place you can't help but feel like you are walking into a atmosphere that embraces good conversation, comfortable living, and the spirit of friends.

I am greatful for this place, and that is my speal.

Now onto work so I can hopefully see the marriage of Pam and Jim tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!

ticket

I got pulled over tonight. Less then an hour ago.

Praise God for no ticket.

I am so deserving of one, but my good looks and honesty provided the loop hole :]

I need to stop speeding and rolling through stop signs, and not just in my car, but in life to.

Pray for a continued lesson to be learned, because that ticket would have been the best way to nip this speeding issue in the you know what.

Otherwise, I am off to make a CD for tomorrow. I start "Cha Cha" training in Health and Fitness, I've taken the dance and made it into a cardio workout! Come visit class if you want to watch!

nine. twenty seven.

Rob Bell.
9/27
Mars Hill Sermon.

BLESSED ARE THE MEEK.

What does meekness mean in your life? Do you look at it from a legalistic point of view?

"Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth."

The Gospel is Jesus's announcement to YOU that you are not behind, that you are not inferior, and that you ARE deserving of God's favor, love, grace and blessing.

"God ordered the world in a different way then we ordered the world."

rainbow reminders

And God said, "This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth." Genesis 9: 12-13

That hope in the cross, the grace and peace of this covenant, and the outstanding blessing of Jesus Christ has me trembling at the sound of those singing seraphim's.


My hope is only a fraction of the hope God has in us. And the hopes I hold onto are not going to go anywhere. DECLARE hope, LIVE in hope, and FIGHT for hope. Whatever your hope may be.

"Hope is not naive desire but calculated risk that declares whatever the loss, it is better than remaining where we are." [Dan B. Allender]

worship.

Be Thou My Vision

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee, Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of heaven, my victory won,
May I reach heaven’s joys, O bright heav’ns Son!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my vision, O ruler of all.

[the difficulty]

rita mae lupori.

Four years ago a celebration happend, a celebration of the life of my Nonni. My mom's mother, a Tina Turner fan, a power walker, a singer at her churches funerals, a Ladies Golf League coordinator and champion, a lover of licorice and a good grilled meal, a crossword fanatic, a Cadillac driver, a avid hat wearer, a woman of courage, faith, and family.

The only family member who understood my cancer struggle. She beat it one time, before it beat her the second time around. She smiled until the end.

Everyone tells me I looked the most like my Nonni and my other Grandma Rose (who passed away before I was born), and I can't help but take and believe that to be one of the most incredible compliments someone has ever given me.

Rest in Peace Nonni. We miss you.

game on.

28 million of us are going to fight you.

seasoned with LOVE.

IT IS ALMOST HERE! MY FAVORITE MONTH OF THE WHOLE ENTIRE YEAR! AND YES I AM AS EXCITED AS THE CAPITOL LETTERS IN THIS SENTENCE!

There is always something so rejuvenating, so fantastic, so simple, so crisp about October. There is still really good fruit from summer, apples are abundant and delicious, pumpkin donuts and pumpkin bread, jeans and a sweatshirt, cozy up with the windows still open, beautiful michigan colors everywhere you drive, incredible harvest sunsets and sunrises, long early morning runs that remind me of some important ladies in my life, and heartfelt reminders that God is present every single place we turn.

October is truly magical, great things are always in store in October for no other reason then the fact that God created this season to be the introduction to gatherings, community, food, love, and restoration.

First and Foremost, the OFFICIAL Autumn MUST do:
Buy a celebratory bag of candy corn in honor of the change of seasons (yearly tradition), even though it is 4 days late, I got mine tonight and it tasted so DELICIOUS.
-- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
So in honor of October, it is essential to make a to-do list. There are only 31 days... So I have to get going.

A (*) is by those things I have yet to do in my lifetimes of Octobers but have recently thought of or always wanted to do.

• Candy corn on the first day of Autumn
  
• Make Mom's pumpkin bread
• Get in a 10+ miler
• Rake leaves and JUMP in them
• Take a nature walk and document with photographs (last year I was in Bath and Lansing)
  
• Drive to the top of the Shaw Ramp at MSU and look at all the trees
  
• Press the first three leaves I find (orange, yellow, red)
• Learn to make pie *
• Learn to make Katie's apple cookies*
• Go canoeing/kayaking*
• Tailgate at a MSU football game
• Carve pumpkins
• Bonfire and Apple cider
• See some Trick-or-Treaters (haven't done this in a few years)
• Enjoy the homecoming festivities of the Bath Community*
• Drive up to Grand Haven and watch the sunset over Lake Michigan*
• Pick my own apples (not just Meijers, haven't done this since I was 5)*
• Go to a Corn maze* (never done this...crazy I know!)
  
• tall nonfat no whip Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks :]
  

So beyond excited.

p.e. shenanigans

charlie brown.

I have a little fetish with my sunday morning comics. Peanuts, Frank and Ernest, Marmaduke...it's the Silly Sunday morning child in me.

But overall, PEANUTS, by Charles Schultz is my favorite.

9/09/09

I might be sick on this day. REGISTER.

The Nines from Todd Rhoades on Vimeo.

Spartan Sounds

I was asked to write a short essay about my hearing aids to my disabilities adviser this year. He wanted it for a presentation for incoming students with disabilities. Somehow I qualify as spokesperson material! It was meant to be witty and personal...so here are bits and pieces of it.

Knowledge is power, and most people don't know anyone with significant hearing loss!

No, I Can't Hear You: Yes, I wear Hearing Aids.

Dear Teachers,
Talking at the board is not effective for anyone including someone who partially reads lips. Using slow and quality English is helpful, and yes, please do post the notes on Angel...They are needed for those times when you speak soft and monotonous. Not only can't I hear you, but I am bored. Those bubble answers: A-B-C-D, just in case you didn't know, B/C/D all sound the same to me. Unless, of course, I can see your mouth which takes my eyes off my bubble sheet, which takes my eyes off correcting the answers, and then takes my eyes back to the sheet and away from your mouth. Do you think I knew what the correct answers were? It's as easy as B for Boy, C for Cat, and D for Dog. Give it a go.

Dear fellow friends,
For me, self-Pep talks are in need prior to attending large engagements where the sounds of music and other loud noises are present. Especially in in bars, around large tables, and when you might find yourself on my right side.... I simply cannot make out what you are saying unless you annunciation very well and talk like you are in slow motion running through a wind tunnel. I love nodding and smiling, but if I do that it is a great cue to you that I have no clue what you are saying and just want to be polite.

Please don't feel awkward out by my need to stand close with my ear right up to your mouth. Actually, it is a great flirtation technique...but in all honesty I just want to know what you are saying and not feel like you could start nibbling at my ear at any moment. So, if you really want to hold a conversation, let's make a date, shoot some pool, and stay away from the loud areas...or just dance it out on the dance floor.

Dear Me, the one with hearing aids,
Accept your hearing loss, understand that you need to take a stand for your needs. People with normal hearing do not know that we struggle and they have no idea what it means for us when learning, socializing, and in our daily lives. And that is okay. They are not supposed to. It is our responsibility to tell them. With confidence, with boldness, and with a simple grace that gets everyone on the same page. Talk to your teachers, your professors, your friends - they might forget from time to time, but they will do their best to help you.

convicted.

RELEVANT

Been on my mind for a long time and have very similar thoughts and convictions. Sharing not to spread the conviction but to share the awareness.

Love to all.

laughter.

Laughing is so great for the soul, glad God gave people a sense of humor. Cheers to the funny people in our lives :]

BURSTING WITH JOY!

If you notice, this blog was typed long before it was posted. I can't spill the details to the whole world until Mamma Burley gets to it, but I had to type it out to get my excitement out of me!

Meriel Burley
8 lbs. and 21 inches

I was texting with Katie until 8:55 p.m. on Saturday August 15th.
I blogged.
Watched a little bit of Mary Poppins.
Went to Sleep.
Woke up and showered.
Only to discover a text on August 16th at 8:05 am from Katie saying... "It's a Girl!"
In not even eleven hours, of which I did NOTHING, my beautiful friends, Mark and Katie, had their second child.

Is that flabbergasting to anyone but me? I couldn't stop saying, "Awwww" all day, and I found myself just being incredibly smiley.

Then, we were invited to stop by the hospital...so my mom and I ditched church and headed towards hospital land. We tried finding a Meijer to stop and get flowers, but got lost, and I just couldn't contain my excitement so we went straight there!

Meriel was BEAUTIFUL and Katie looked phenomenal, Mark was awestruck and so smiley too. Then, I got to hold Meriel for what seemed like an hour. She was so peaceful, so content, and so nestled in her burrito of a bundle and under her mop of dark hair.

I just couldn't believe it. It (the whole scenario) seemed so perfect, so miraculous, it was an incredible moment for me to understand just how great God is.

And that friends is all I can put into words. Congrats to the Burley's, a sweet Coventry Lane family of four, I'm glad I get to be an honorary big sister for the next year. I've never gotten to be the big sister...hopefully Hazel and I will share the title well :]

Love to you all as you peacefully abide by the 24 hour hospital rule...even though that is almost 120% more time then you actually spent giving birth!


*Katie and Mark both revealed all details on facebook :] i'm good to post now!

david: from boy to king

When God wants to drill a man
and thrill a man, and skill a man
When God wants to mold a man
to play the nobelest part
When God yearns with all his heart
to create so great and bold a man
That the whole world may be amazed
Watch God's methods, watch his ways

How he ruthlessly perfects whom he royaly elects
How he hammers him and hurts him
and with mighty blows converts him
Into trial shapes of clay, that only God understand,
While his tortured heart is crying
and he lifts besetching hands

How God bends but never breaks
When his good he undertakes
How God uses whom he chooses
and with every purpose fuses him
With mighty acts induces him
to try his spender out
God knows what he's about"

all this chit chat

comfort vs. dicomfort

Had a great conversation last night with a great friend about the level of comfort one should have while serving. Although we both agreed that "comfortable" might not be the best word, the discussion led to some hard but honest points.

I've always felt that if I am experiencing discomfort in my ministry, then I am challenging my comfort zone and stretching towards the harder to reach corners of God's ministry in my life. You've heard me write that God doesn't call us to do easy (comfortable) things, but things that are hard (= discomfort).

The other point I had was that when I start getting comfortable, I start taking control. It becomes Lauren Wojcik's ministry and not God's. I am a firm believer in leaps of faith and going to the limb when it comes to my walk.

Although these are all valid points, my friend put a spin on my comfort vs. discomfort theory that I hadn't yet thought about.

My thoughts were challenged. If the strong will of Christ has you serving where you are, then shouldn't you be comforted knowing you are doing Christ work? Well, yes.

If you are serving in hard ways, shouldn't you still be comforted knowing that Christ brought you to that work specifically?

No matter what limits are being stretched, the comfort of Christ should still be there.

But maybe this is a contentment issue. Contentment in ministry and serving has to be there, or you will burn out...but contentment is also dangerous...right?

the wheels are turning. thanks telephone friend.

• I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. Philippians 4:11-13 (The Message)
• I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:11-13 (New International Version)
• Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:11-13 (New Living Translation)

hop. jump. leap.

Life always brings me back to the Gospel of Matthew.

What is known about this gospel? Matthew depended on Mark during authorship, it was written in Greek, relies heavily on the Old Testament, and is similar to the construction of the Pentateuch. It's validity is also questioned by scholars since it is so close to John-Mark's gospel.

But what really strikes me is the way NIV and the Message both end the Gospel according to Matthew. Some disciples are holding back, doubting, weary, afraid, uncertain...etc.

THEY JUST SAW THE SON OF GOD be CRUCIFIED, DIE, BURIED, and RISEN AGAIN!

Selfishly I say, "Atleast they got a visual to base their beliefs on, a tangible experience."

Unselfishly, I understand that doubt, that hesitation, that fear. But again all I hear is that my God is not a God of comfort, but a God of challenges. My God is not a God of this world, but of eternity...of the NEW world.

And that my God calls me to GO, to HOP, JUMP, LEAP, SKIP, DIVE without fear.

Am I doubting too? Am I holding back from worship because of fear?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

^8-10The women, deep in wonder and full of joy, lost no time in leaving the tomb. They ran to tell the disciples. Then Jesus met them, stopping them in their tracks. "Good morning!" he said. They fell to their knees, embraced his feet, and worshiped him. Jesus said, "You're holding on to me for dear life! Don't be frightened like that. Go tell my brothers that they are to go to Galilee, and that I'll meet them there."

^11-15Meanwhile, the guards had scattered, but a few of them went into the city and told the high priests everything that had happened. They called a meeting of the religious leaders and came up with a plan: They took a large sum of money and gave it to the soldiers, bribing them to say, "His disciples came in the night and stole the body while we were sleeping." They assured them, "If the governor hears about your sleeping on duty, we will make sure you don't get blamed." The soldiers took the bribe and did as they were told. That story, cooked up in the Jewish High Council, is still going around.

^16-17Meanwhile, the eleven disciples were on their way to Galilee, headed for the mountain Jesus had set for their reunion. The moment they saw him they worshiped him. Some, though, held back, not sure about worship, about risking themselves totally.

^18-20Jesus, undeterred, went right ahead and gave his charge: "God authorized and commanded me to commission you: Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Then instruct them in the practice of all I have commanded you. I'll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age."

building that library.

Just Finished: Crazy Love by Francis Chan
Starting Tonight: SPARK by John J Ratey, MD with Eric Hagerman

STILL ON THE LIST
Professional Reads:
The First Days of School
Letters To a Young Teacher

LEISURE READS
The Timetraveler's Wife

POINTS OF VIEW/RECOMMENDATIONS
The Science of God
Redeeming Love


Anymore suggestions? I'm running out of time....but I could build my amazon wish list a little more! :]


Here was the first page to SPARK:

"In order for a man to succeed in life, God provided him with two means, education and physical activity. Not separately, one for the soul and the other for the body, but for the two together. With these two means, man can attain perfection." [Plato]


I'm hooked.

august.

It's here. The month I am so excited for and so nervous for that the same time. Praise God that I believe in His plan for me, because if I was without faith in the hopes that God places in my heart, I'm sure I would have ran by now.

My future career is not one of comfort and familiarity, it is something that challenges me daily to face the things that are hardest to me. I have to wake up and say, "You are in control God," and trust that he will protect me from the loud voices of my insecurities.

I can't wait to be living in Mason surrounded by people who are real in their own struggles, I can't wait to meet all those middle schoolers and love them to the core, and I can't wait for the beautiful ladies of WMS to enter high school. I can't wait to play with Hazel, chat with Katie and Mark, and snuggle with Baby Burley on the denim couches.

I can't wait to combine life with progress, if that makes sense.

I have zero expectations for everything, except the expectation that God will show up in whatever way His will has planned.

And with that, I am completely content.

You are really great.
That's all.

chronic optimism

Today is going to be a great day.
I have every reason in faith to believe that no matter what today brings, it is going to be a GREAT day.

"This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it!"

Thank you Psalms 118:24.

flippers not required

I've always had larger feet. HUGE feet as a matter of fact. I believe I reached size 9 at age twelve and size 10 didn't follow too long after that. However, I stopped growing in 8th grade at a average height of 5'6 and 3/4. Luckily the contrast is still proportionate, but my feet do represent that of a woman who should be around 5'10 or 5'11.

Here's the cool part. My feet grew! Who knew a 22 year old could grow bigger feet (disregard 22 year olds who are pregnant)? Not I.

But it is official. My running shoes were feeling tight, my toes were cramping, and I felt like things were pinching my toes left and right. Went to the running store, and was told that my feet have taken a liking to being unavailable to the pretty and colorful women's shoes.

I am now going to be stuck with the boring blues, greys, reds, and greens of masculinity. At a whopping (running) size of 11.5, I can venture out on the open road knowing that I may be average in height, but when it comes to my foundation: it is a sturdy size of 11.5 and ready for movement :]

At least I won't need flippers in the swimming pool. God gave me my own built in pair!

simplicity

I may not be surrounded by a community of believers

but I am surrounded by a hopeful community looking for something to believe in.

I am surrounded by simple reminders of God's beauty, which I deny way too often myself.

me me me.

I'm guilty.

I have lots of time to think and read and dream and sleep right now. I have all these hopes for exactly what I want my future to look like. I am full of ME hopes, ME dreams, and ME plans.

I'm learning that is it important to place emphasis on the here and now, because I can trust what is in front of me but I can't trust my hindsight. I can put the dailies in God's hands but I want so badly to control the tomorrows.

What I (think) I know: the people I work with are fantastic. my heart needs to be softened towards the parentals. the peace of Christ should rule in my heart and not finances or people. I made an amazing blueberry/strawberry/grape fruit salad and I want to share it with everyone I know.

What I am clueless on: what kind of computer to purchase. what Paul is telling me and the Philippians. Why Nehemiah can rebuild Jerusalem and I can't even comprehend the amazing things God is asking me to build for Him. how to have peace that the future will come, and how to continue having faith in the hope that God puts in my heart!

Remember, I strive on accountability. That is my purpose for this little blurb :] Miss you all.

my own corner.

A couple of my favorite shots from the summer thus far.

they make the mustang look GOOOOOOD :]

piece of heaven at twl.

kids are simple which makes work amazing.

bird lake is good for the soul.

beauti
they are pretty darn spectacular.

that's all folks.

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool,
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental
To reach out to another is to risk involvement,
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self
To place your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss
To love is to risk not being loved in return,
To hope is to risk despair,
To try is to risk to failure.
But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing is nothing.
He may avoid suffering and sorrow,
But he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or live.
Chained by his servitude he is a slave who has forfeited all freedom.
Only a person who risks is free.
The pessimist complains about the wind;
The optimist expects it to change;
And the realist adjusts the sails.

[William Arthur Ward, "To Risk"]

It's an answer to the unanswered, a period to the question mark, a conclusion to the thesis.

The thought of taking risks makes me bite my nails... it's just not me and it makes me blush and sweat and do all sorts of things.

But it is one of directions I am being lead and it is going to be a beautiful ride. I better pack lots and LOTS of deodorant and get used to having very short nails :]

Praise the Lord for Betsy Ruhlig, someone who God has me paralleling with on so many levels.

peace.

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. [Ephesians 6:13-20]

There it is, swimming amidst of all Paul's encouraging words, an simple straight forward answer. An answer to all the struggles and hardships the body of Christ is facing every single hour of every single day. Finding our peace. Peace with our own struggles, peace with the struggles we are confronted with daily, and peace with the worldly struggles that flash before us in the world.

The answer is found in almost every single hotel room in the nation, it's on the shelves under layers of dust and stuffed with important family papers that need a secret hiding spot. It is the Gospel of peace. Imagine if all television stations were centered in the Gospel of Peace, how much more encouraging would it be to see news casters wearing the breast plate of righteousness and the belt of truth. How much peace would be restored if all politicians used the sword of the Spirit and the helmet of salvation.

Peace comes from proactive people fighting for something they believe in.

Peace is not meant to be all butterflies and bunnies, but more of like bees and ants who work hard with others to store up their treasures for something bigger then they can comprehend.

Paul uses an important phrase "in Christ" which appears about thirty-five times to describe believers' true fellowship with Him. Believers are "in Christ" - Ephesians 1:1, "in the heavenly places in Christ" - Ephesians 1:3, chosen in Christ - Ephesians 1:4, adopted in Christ - Ephesians 1:5, and made acceptable in Christ - Ephesians 1:6. In Christ we've been given hope - Ephesians 1:12 and made alive - Ephesians 2:5 in order to grow in Him - Ephesians 2:22 and make a difference in the world.

And there is our answer. Powerful people by the world's standards are not always called to bring the Peace of the gospel to others. Nope. It's the ordinary people who are called to do this extraordinary thing.

It's you.

Thanks Paul. Your letter from Tychicus was received, it is circling around the churches and stirring the heart of someone who has been given the hope, has been made alive, and has been made acceptable in Christ. May the peace and grace of Christ be with you as well.

something is blooming.

Last night I was blessed with a great conversation involving my great friend Rachel Jelneck, someone I've known since we committed our lives to taking leaps of faith for Jesus in Greywolf cabin at Timberwolf Lake.

This semester we would meet every Tuesday in the library and hear each other out. Now, Rachel is this mind blowing psychologist and knows how to read right though all my little Lauren Wojcik quirks and perks...and gets right to the heart of my matter.

The funny thing is that Rach knows how to ask the questions, and I know how to give the advice...and then Rach says, "Laur, why don't you follow your own advice?" And I say, "Rach, you stink." We laugh and then she says, "Seriously."

Okay Rach, seriously...I'm taking it.

These were three of the things we concluded after our conversation.

A. God brings people into our life at different seasons for different reasons. Playing catch-up with everyone is like playing tag with yourself; exhausting and manipulating the purpose God served in that relationship. It will be exactly what it needs to be because it is God.

B. I've got this little crush on the person God created me to be (only took 22 years!), and for the first time I have this tiny glimpse of how that could be combined another to be used to further the kingdom.

C. Phillipians 3:13, The word of God, "No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us."

This leads me into my long blog post about having faith like a child which also ties into my most recent readings with Brenan Manning in The Ragamuffin Gospel.

I'll be posting the novel tonight while I am house/dog/hot tub sitting this week :]

Until then friends, may the peace and grace of our Father be with you today and always.

workaholism or workaholicism?

Dear Friends,

Today at work I was called a "workaholic". Which in my book is not something I ever want to be. I do, however, want to closely follow the work the Lord has set before me with a Colossians 3:23 attitude.

So here's the question at hand. In your interactions with me, have you seen this "workaholicism" to be true? Or is it a "wholeheartedism" that is existing? Does it fall in between the two? Where's it at.

When you want to know something honestly, you ask close friends. Since my time to interact in person with close friends is shorter and farther apart these days, I ask for your insight via the world wide web. You can comment or send an e-mail, give a call or send a text...any and either is appreciated.

I must identify and stop an action before it becomes a habit, or a "ism" for that matter. For the word of God states (1 Peter 4:7-11),

"The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen."

Capiche? I know its random, but help a sister out. And pt. 2 of faith like child will come soon, hopefully before the weekend.

Love,
Lauren

faith like a child.[ pt.1]

Since I've been home I've been trying to remember what my faith was like when I was little. Here are some bullet points of what I remember.

• I always prayed to the people I knew who had already passed. I often prayed to my Grandma Rose asking her questions about the person she was, favorite color, ice cream, memory of my Dad. She passed away before I was born, so I always had this curiosity about her as a person and what it was like for her in heaven.
• When other family members passed I also prayed to them, or to the saints that the Catholic Church taught me about.
• I had the typical prayer of "God, I know I haven't been the best person I could be lately, but I'll make it up tomorrow by dusting the WHOLE house for mom."
  
• I would wake up in the morning and just lay in my bed, staring at my glow in the dark stars wondering about anything and everything, for a really long time.
• I would go to bed reflecting on my day, trying to remember every little detail so I would never forget anything.
• We always prayed the same prayer at dinner, nothing new, always memorized. This reminds me that I was usually the first one to memorize my prayers in Catechism.
• I also believed anything someone told me. I was agreeing with everyone and a passionate people pleaser.
• I tried to be a kneeler next to my bed, but that hurt too much on the wood floors, so I used my famous blanket and sat on it next to my bed. Sometimes I would fall asleep there and Dad or Mom would lift me back into bed...I was so confused when I wold wake up.
  

I am learning a lot about having faith like a child and wanted to challenge readers to think about their faith as a child. How was it different from today's faith? What do you wish you had known back then that you know now, and vice versa? That is what I am drafting right now, I'll have my answers and research out soon.

Enjoy the rainy days!

simi valley

we need to live our lives in a way that demands an explanation.
thank you cornerstone church.

check it out under "What do you need in order to be happy"

two hours.

What would you do if you had 2 hours of spare time (other then be with family and friends)?

This was the question I was asked by a friend last night, and had trouble sleeping because I really did not have an answer. I have never been really good at having free time, if that makes sense. In this part of my life, I feel that there is open door for lots of "free time". And where I am stumped is knowing when to follow the to-do list and when to follow the leisure list.

My time is usually filled with me feeling like I am busy or like I need to be busy. Unproductive hours in my day seem like a waste, like I am not doing everything I can.

But Jesus died on the cross and it was finished. That is the bottom line. He did everything I am trying to do and He completed it. The to-do list moved to the "done" pile. Nothing I can do, say, or produce is accomplishing something that has not already been done by Jesus Christ.

This is a minuscule version of what Megan and Dan Orr talked about at Work Weekend this year, but after being asked that question I realized how relevant "It is Finished" is to my life.

So what would I do if I had two hours of pure leisure time (other then be with family and friends)? MY next question is"Was this planned or unplanned leisure time?" :]

leisure time.

• Get lost on a run or drive
• Play outside (frisbee, bike, canoe, trails, longboard, etc.)
• Phone/E-mail/Write a friend
• attend a sporting event (if I had tickets)
• cruise downtown ann arbor/lansing
• phone/e-mail/write a friend or family member
• cook or bake something new
• download algebra problems and test my knowledge
• word searches and attempting to do cross words/sudoku
• attend festivals/concerts/random happenings
• practice one of the many new things I want to learn
• devotional time is always great too

I enjoy being with people for most of these items, but that was contradictory to the question. So there's the little list. It was a fun thing to put together, and now it is my hope that I will continue to see opportunities where I can stop. put my to do list down. rest. relax. and remember that IT IS FINISHED.

according to the Gospel of Matthew.

Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field."

scatterbrained

The past couple of weeks have been filled with roommate conversations, e-mails, resource sharing, side hugs, high fives, walks around East Lansing, podcasts comparisons, baseball rivalry, hallway chats, summer ideas; the works.

I just pray that God will continue showing me how to maintain relationships from a distance, with smallers amounts of time, and multiple schedules.

It's leaving me a little scatterbrained.

one WHOLE year!

PRAISE THE LORD!

one year.
one year until I see Dr. Charles Koopman.
one WHOLE year.
that's 365 days.
no more otolaryngology.
for a YEAR.
no more acinic cell carcinoma.
until next may!
no more cheek/throat needle biopsies and MRIs.
until 2010. two thousand and TEN!

thank you God....
for your healing hands.
your talented doctors.
and your ultimate plan.

this will be celebrated.
tomorrow :]

a little self talk.

Doubt is like soap scum. It builds up and leaves residue and takes a bunch of extra scraping to remove.

A lot of times when I hit the pavement for a run I am starting to scrape all that residue, all that junk that builds up on my heart. This morning on one of my runs I had the idea to blog my little pep speech in hope of getting to hear yours. This little ramble of words is usually a gist of what I mumble together when I need a little shove, convincing, or reminder. It is pretty consistent with what I usually say.
----------
You'r goal is not to be a number. Time doesn't matter. Size doesn't matter.
You're goal is not to be someone else. God created YOU in HIS image.
You're goal is not to be who you used to be. Keep changing, moving, and challenging.
You're goal is not to be who you are. Keep asking, keep seeking, keep opening doors.

You're goal is to love. Love your Lord, love yourself, your enemy, your friends, your family
You're goal is to be self controlled. Satan may tempt you, but the Lord will sustain you.
You're goal is to hope. Hope for the imaginable and the unimaginable.
You're goal is to seek joy. Joy in all situations, in all words, in all actions.
You're goal is to keep running. Keep pushing. Keep persevering. Keep fighting.
You're goal is to never stop putting God first.
You're goal is to test your heart, your soul, your mind, your strength.

can't get away:rush of fools

I am an arrow, I am a rocket
I am a river and nothing can stop it
Cause You are the target and You are the atmosphere
You are the ocean that keeps pulling me, You're pulling me here

[Chorus:]
And I, can't get away, can't get away
Can't get away, can't get away
I can't get away, can't get away...I keep running into You
[repeat]

I am a beggar, You are the table
I am so helpless, God You are so able
And when I get turned around You change my direction
You're so perfect, I'm so broken, here You come with arms wide open
Chasing after me down every road
You're always waiting there
[Chorus]
Even when I close my eyes, I can't help but see
There's no place that I can hide, You're such a part of me
I can't get away cause I keep running into You
I can't get away...

SHOUT SHOUT SHOUT...Praise The Lord!

In anything and everything...

How do you know when to go? How do you know when to stop? How do you know what the boundaries are? What is the edge? Why are we so tempted to go to the edge?

This man was hiring a new driver for his carriage. He asked all the applicants this question:
How close can you get to the cliff without going over?

Many different answers were given...4 inches, 1/4 of an inch, and the guy who was hired said
"I have no idea how close I can get to it, but I know how far away from the edge I can get."

What a statement. What if we knew how far away we could get from that edge in our life?

First, establish that one or two things that is always tempting you, testing you, and trying you. That little nagging thought that never leaves your mind. Those idols that we put before God.

Now, remember a time when you tested the edge. You kept eating that snack even though you were full, you gossiped or lied because it sounded better, you went a little bit too far with your significant other because it just felt right. Even if it felt right at the time, I guarantee there was still that little voice of conviction or honesty that spoke. My voice always speaks softly prior to testing the edge, and then VERY LOUD after I've gone over.

I wish that prior voice was a little bit louder, a little bit bolder, and a little bit more defined. And it can be. That voice can SHOUT. It's called the word of God, and it is bolder then any other as you know where to find that voice.

The word of God tell, written in our hearts, will help us know when to stop and when to go. It will let us see the edge, test the edge, but not fall off the edge. The word of God is powerful and challenging, it is honest and convicting, but you will not fail when you need its guidance and protection. It will speak BOLDLY and it will SHOUT when you are being tempted.

There have been several different things in the past four years that have consumed my thoughts, my actions, and caused me to redefine the lines in my life. Some of them were good things and others were the "I wish I had been more careful" things. They are what they are, but I don't want them to be what they are four years from now. I want to know that I've grown and that I can ask God to intervene and SHOUT at me so it won't happen again.

Here is a great verse to start with some of those struggles. Matthew 4: 1-11

Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, "If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread."

Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'"

Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple.

"If you are the Son of God," he said, "throw yourself down. For it is written:
" 'He will command his angels concerning you,
and they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone."

Jesus answered him, "It is also written: 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.'"Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. "All this I will give you," he said, "if you will bow down and worship me." Jesus said to him, "Away from me, Satan! For it is written: 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.'"

Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.

I pray that the angels attend to you when you feel close to that edge, I pray that the God of all Gods shouts his words in your heart so loud that you get goosebumps :]