letters to God.

I love blogging simply because writing is a way to offer all the blessings and gifts I been given to glorify God in His entirety. All in hopes of surrendering, in hopes of sharing the gospel, and in hopes of learning more about our creator.

There are many blog posts where I stumble and write for selfish reasons, but I am learning.  A post on [in]Courage's blog has helped me to understand how I can really use this little virtual spot as a means to spread good news.

My writing doesn't just start and end with blogging.  Since before I was a believer I wrote letters to God - all 39 journals are present in this photo.  Several of them are unfinished, half full, and filled with many "enjoy the struggle" moments.  Some have photos and articles or collections of tiny inspirations and others reflect dark and strong times of faith. 

As a woman of the 21st century I enjoy the efficiency of typing my journal now.  However, since I laid out this collection for a photo, I realized that I have a deep connection to all these letters and how special it is for me to know how many tears have been dropped on these pages, how many dreams are lost in the lines, and how strong my sense of hope is in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. 

I can't help but think that my little white macbook won't be able to provide that same tangible sense of connection - so I might just start ball-pointing my personal stories again.  Eventually those written notes will lead to the collection of blog letters to you and to a blogging community that is fighting to share the heart, soul, and strength of the Gospel.

Grace and Peace to you friends.

[my jaw is on the ground]

How did I not know this episode of CMT Crossroad existed? This consumed about an hour of my life today and I loved every single minute of it. I wish I could find the whole episode!

aw snap.

Just replied to an e-mail from a friend.  In my attempts to process through their thoughts I was convicted of my own crap. Here's what I wrote - 


Are you choosing to take the corner when it is evident that you need to get in the ring and wrestle? 

I suck at wrestling. I love putting on my costume, mouth guard, and dolling up WWF style - but when it actually comes to getting in that ring and body slamming my barriers that keep me from experiencing complete unity with Christ, I always find an excuse.

These are the pros and cons of having really great people in your life who hold you accountable for living a life for Jesus.  Arizona makes it easy to not confront my own crap because I have no one to talk to about it.  Michigan surrounds me with great people, who give great hugs, and get my mind going and my heart settled in the realization that I am not playing the game or fighting the fight.

Here we go, New year 2011! 

Acts 2 (a.k.a. East Lansing)

They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

So much on my heart right now, so many great conversations and hugs today and yesterday, so much to reflect on, and pray for. The hugs were the best. The fact that I didn't have to plan my conversations in the car before lunch or coffee, the fact that I new I could just run up and squeeze my blessed friends made me so stinkin' happy. I probably recruited 20 people to move to Tucson, and I am hoping the get some visitors out of that.

Blog posts coming about scripture and wise words I've listened to and read the past couple of days, but for tonight I'm journaling the sweet little memories of two splendid days with friends I can share eternity with.

Praise God for Acts 2 communities and a new Campus Corner Michigan State T-Shirt (mine had a HUGE hole in the armpit).

reading.

Currently being tossed around in the purse -

In my never ending quest to learn more about writing, grace, and faith - the author of my favorite book "Cold Tangerines" came out with another collection of stories from her life that are proving to move my heart in challenging but great ways.

"Bittersweet" by Shauna Niequist


I've just finished a 45 hour class (with another 45 next semester!) and my teacher has declared that he is an atheist several times, and often finds ways to incorporate his opinion/belief into all that he is talking about.  Leading me to have the increasing desire to have a sturdier foundation of what I believe, why I believe, and how can I correlate this in an adult conversation?

"There is a God" by Antony Flew

Given as a gift to me in college, I had never gotten around to this - but since I am church shopping at the moment and still trying to figure out where my niche falls between Catholicism and Non-denominational sectors of the chuch.


"They Like Jesus but Not the Church" by Dan Kimball

Bittersweet

"Use what you have, use what the world gives you.  Use the first day of fall: bright flame before winter's deadness; harvest; orange, gold, amber; cool nights and the smell of fire... Use your dreams and your secrets and your neglected, hidden imagination.

Write a love song for someone who will never love you back.  Write a comedy that used to be a tragedy, because you can create any ending you want for your own story. Write a song that says everything you've ever wanted to say to your father, or fill a canvas with all the things you hope you find out that God is, when you meet him someday.

Dance till your feet bleed, sing till you're hoarse, spill aout all your stories like pouring wine into thing-stemmed glasses, the liquid rich and blood-red.  Get up.  Create like you're training for a marathon, methodically, day by day.  Learn your tricks, find a friend, leave the dirty dishes in the sink for a while.  This is your chance to become what you believe deep in your secret heart you might be.  Do the work, learn the skills, and make art, because of what the act of creation will create in you." (Page 163)

[Shauna Niequist]

humbled

That's right, there were NO pictures :) Humbled daily and learning that I suck at mass mailings. Another reason why asking for help is good. Any volunteers to edit next year's Christmas letter?

what's wrong with this picture?

To my dearest family and friends,

It is with great eagerness that I begin writing my first adult Christmas letter! I debated going the e-mail route, thought about sending you a picture of me with my 482 Sunrise students, or just writing a little 2-3 sentence blurb in a Hallmark card.  None of those seemed suiting for the joy in my heart and the love I feel for this season and the people I miss so much. So read on! 

Twenty ten has been a year of growth, risks, and adventures.  Nine months ago I was still a Michigan State Spartan learning to be a teacher and now I am teaching 482+ kiddos daily. The mentorship I received from my student teaching experience and love from the families I spent time with in East Lansing was pertinent to the success of living on my own. Nothing will ever replace the year of memories with the beautiful Burley family (right), the communities of Williamston and Bath, and my friends in Young Life and at Riverview Church. 

Summer was filled with the comforts and familiarities of home. Saline friends and co-workers, Mom’s cooking, Dad’s golf advice, and many journal pages filled with prayers for a job with benefits.  When it was clear that my path would venture out west, courage and excitement filled my heart.  My four day trip in my fully loaded Ford Escape was an adventure I will never forget (picture when I entered AZ to the left).  I am the girl who once had to spray my teddy bear with Mom’s perfume; moving across the country was not a plan that my homesick heart would have a trend of being successful at.  Cincinnati, Nashville and Albuquerque were highlights on the trip and I’m eternally grateful for the protection of my little Escape.

With about 5 months of teaching under my belt I’ve learned more from my students then they have learned from me.  I’ve had visits from tarantulas and rattlesnakes, learned how excited desert dwellers are for rain, keep Elmer’s glue on hand for run-ins with cacti, and removed the words grass, overcast, and fog from my vocabulary. 

Without internet and cable, I’ve enjoyed spending time catching up on my horrible movie collection and realized that you don’t need weather.com in a state that is sunny 99.9% of the time. Walking outside to get oranges and grapefruit is common, running up ridiculously steep hills is not an option, and frequent house calls to my Arizona family helps me get through my hug cravings.  I am residing in the comforts of my Aunt Lexy’s old snow bird place and continually grateful for the ways God provides.

I know absolutely nothing about what 2011 has in store but I do know better than to think that I am in control.  God’s plan surpassed anything I could have imagined for 2010.  I pray for patience and peace in your heart and hope for great blessings this Christmas season and into 2011.  I challenge you to take risks and adventures of your own...knowing that if you want some sun, warm weather, or just some good laughs of watching a midwest girl survive the desert - my door is always open!

I pray for the hope of God’s message for the Christmas season and the grace and peace that come from believing in the story of Jesus. I hope that 2011 is nothing but good news and great joy for you and your family.

All my Love,

Lauren

advent conspiracy

As a full contender in the Advent Conspiracy that Maryclaire and the Burley's brought to my attention, I have found it increasingly difficult to stay focused this Christmas season on the "reason for the season."

Worship fully.
Spend less.
Give more.
Love all.

I am praying that my heart will be more available then what it has been the past couple of weeks.  That I will truly take in the blessings of this season.  Surrounded by a family who strives on the commercial significance of the holiday, I am eager to find the glimpse of light in the simple joy of knowing that we are around the table together in celebration of love.  Not only the celebration of love but also of many other things that create a heart ready for the birth and coming of Christ.

A celebration of changes - increased distances with decreased time.
A celebration of what is next - forgetting what has hurt us and remembering what restoration lies ahead.
A celebration of the heart - evaluating the content of my heart in Christ and the honesty that comes from a thorough dusting.

A celebration if hope - that Jesus was born to save each and every person in this world.  Something no one else can do or will ever do, until He comes again.

In so many ways this is the beginning of something new, even more new then the New Year.

Last year I was known for famously putting up ten fingers in every photo taken by Al J (see below), but this year I'm keeping it simple.

Ideas for 2011?

captured.

How can words even describe these friendships?  It's not just the one's pictured above.  It's in the calls asking me to come for a Mason Depot breakfast, watching my Mt. Clemens friend love her precious daughter as she grows a 2nd baby, and it's in the history of these ladies above.

I realized tonight that when I drive my friends home, I find myself going under the speed limit because I don't want time to end.  I realized today that my best friends can be the one's I've known the longest or who seem the farthest ahead of me in life.  I realized today that I cannot live without these friendships. I couldn't stop hugging Claire, I wanted to squeeze all the love out of Al before she leaves for Singapore, and Anna I wish she would just keep sharing her stories, keep telling me how it is.  So many exciting things in their lives and so much history in ours. My prayer is that my children can have the friendships I've been blessed with.  My heart craves these girls and the unique traits that they bring to this world...although I do wish they would grow so I would stop being the giant in the pictures!

Love, Always, Forever

home.

C'mon, you thought I'd leave you hanging with pictures of me on sleep deprived and whacked out on caffeine? Nope, here's a refreshing one for you to see :)  Snuggled in, listening to Christmas Carols and entering grades.  Ahhh...perfection.  Praying that you are settled in tonight and holding on to the hope of a beautiful season ahead.

Angels we have heard on high
Sweetly singing o'er the plains,
And the mountains in reply
Echoing their joyous strains.

Gloria, in excelsis Deo!
Gloria, in excelsis Deo!

Shepherds, why this jubilee?
Why your joyous strains prolong?
What the gladsome tidings be
Which inspire your heavenly song?

Come to Bethlehem and see
Christ Whose birth the angels sing;
Come, adore on bended knee,
Christ the Lord, the newborn King.

See Him in a manger laid,
Whom the choirs of angels praise;
Mary, Joseph, lend your aid,
While our hearts in love we raise.

a tucson bonfire

Wrapping up a week of school and knowing that two full weeks of rest, relaxation, and friends were ahead I accepted an invitation to join two Tucson friends under the starlight.  The sun had long set, the night sky was glistening with big dots of glitter and the mountains casted a deep black shadow in the sky.  Anna and I carried the wood out to the pit, grabbed a bottle of Merlot and a bag of marshmallows, and I dug around my purse for the lighter I had brought.

Our first attempt to light the bonfire failed. My two friends, one a New York Columbia female alumna and the other a UCONN Husky alumni depended on the stereotype that all Michiganders knew how to make fire.  My first question was, "Do you have lighter fluid?"  Laughing and remembering the last time I watched my Michigan friend create fire of the beaches of Lake Michigan, I knew three things.

1. You need dry wood and scrapping under the wood.
2. You need to stack the wood in a cool formation.
3. You need some kind of catalyst to spread what is started (lighter fluid, air, or actual fire).

I created this log fort with a ripped Trader Joe's bag underneath, took my lighter and lit the area under the wood.  After another failed attempt to get the wood to light and an dwindling resource of paper bags, I tried lighting three areas, added a touch of my exhaled air, and wa-la we had a fire!

The evening was spent chatting about where we've been, who we are, and what our dreams are.  All three of us dove into the past, present, and future of falling in love stories.  After refills of Merlot and burnt marshmallows on skewers, we realized one thing - we are three completely different co-workers - Jewish, Christian, and "Anglo-Saxton," covering all three parts of the political spectrum, and working hard in the same profession - but we are all battling what society tells us should be the next part of our story.

Maybe there is a specific way to make a fire, maybe with all the right materials that fire just still won't start, and maybe I'm lighting the wrong fire. Alot of where my heart is right now lies in the uncertainty of what materials I need, what process I am going to try, and where I am going to light that fire.

Signing out from the airport in Phoenix, getting ready to take off into my comfortable mitten, I am looking forward to fireside conversations with my friends and family.  I am praying for depth and honesty as I get to embrace the stories of people who know me so well and love others so incredibly.

home stretch.

THURSDAY!

2 Days to Go

Can we (the teachers) make it out alive?

the perfect gift

a perfect christmas gift

to your enemies, forgiveness.

to an opponent, tolerance.

to a friend, your heart.

to a customer, service.

to all, charity,

to every child, a good example

to yourself, respect.

and this.

My Younglife leader has had the Belief Project this as her link in G-Chat for a while.  Thought I'd share, seems like a fantastic and powerful idea, that I do not do nearly enough.

so cool.

Fascinated by things like this.

King of Love.

Elvis was at my church last night. We are starting a series called "Christmas in Graceland" and apparently the best way to kick it off was with the king of hunk-a-burning love himself.

That's all.

December 2

Teacher Calender Quote of the Day
 
"The spirited horse, which will try to win the race of its own accord, will run even faster if encouraged."
[Ovid]

Praise God for friends getting jobs, little ladies growing up, community all around the world, and phone conversations that seem to answer life's questions.

Praying for a progressive and aggressive start to December :)