grace of a pianist.

I wish I had the grace of a pianist. Moving their hands in fluid motions across a vast spread of keys. Striking each key with the confidence of a soldier in march but the grace of a ballerina on stage. Each key falling in sequence, each note even more beautiful then the one before it - creating a melody that gallops through the air and touches the hearts of a captivated audience.

It amazes me how something as simple as 88 black and white keys can dance across the grand staff in millions of different combinations and extend to unknown ledger lines. Creating music that turns legendary.

How many black and white keys lie in front of me right now? How can I embrace the next couple of months with the grace of a pianist?

It's not the moving that bothers me. It's not the meeting new people. It's not the "I'm on my own" factor.

It's the micro-things. The weather, the money, the details, the comfort of a life on my own , the worries of how I will keep in touch, the discomfort of knowing that relationships are going to be sacrificed. All of this is a direct result of not investing my whole identity in Christ.

WARNING: I'm still holding on. Still creating a world for ME and not Jesus.

The pride is preventing me from leaping.

Knowing that I am dancing with Jesus is a given. Creating the music seems fun, but it's the final rehearsal, the grand finale that scares me.

What will I have lost, what will I have gained, how will I measure up, is it going to be what I expected?

I'm praying for that renewed will of God - that trust that the Holy Spirit will be with me wherever I go. I'm sorry Jesus for the unwillingness to submit the part of my heart that wants to hug the balance beam, that squeezes so tight and replays the same keys over and over.

I pray for the grace of a pianist. I pray for the will of God to consume my thoughts. I pray for the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

I pray for utmost joy in fulfilling the plan you have for me and the people in my life.

I pray for the grace of a pianist.