letters to God.

I love blogging simply because writing is a way to offer all the blessings and gifts I been given to glorify God in His entirety. All in hopes of surrendering, in hopes of sharing the gospel, and in hopes of learning more about our creator.

There are many blog posts where I stumble and write for selfish reasons, but I am learning.  A post on [in]Courage's blog has helped me to understand how I can really use this little virtual spot as a means to spread good news.

My writing doesn't just start and end with blogging.  Since before I was a believer I wrote letters to God - all 39 journals are present in this photo.  Several of them are unfinished, half full, and filled with many "enjoy the struggle" moments.  Some have photos and articles or collections of tiny inspirations and others reflect dark and strong times of faith. 

As a woman of the 21st century I enjoy the efficiency of typing my journal now.  However, since I laid out this collection for a photo, I realized that I have a deep connection to all these letters and how special it is for me to know how many tears have been dropped on these pages, how many dreams are lost in the lines, and how strong my sense of hope is in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. 

I can't help but think that my little white macbook won't be able to provide that same tangible sense of connection - so I might just start ball-pointing my personal stories again.  Eventually those written notes will lead to the collection of blog letters to you and to a blogging community that is fighting to share the heart, soul, and strength of the Gospel.

Grace and Peace to you friends.


[my jaw is on the ground]


How did I not know this episode of CMT Crossroad existed? This consumed about an hour of my life today and I loved every single minute of it. I wish I could find the whole episode!

aw snap.

Just replied to an e-mail from a friend.  In my attempts to process through their thoughts I was convicted of my own crap. Here's what I wrote - 


Are you choosing to take the corner when it is evident that you need to get in the ring and wrestle? 


I suck at wrestling. I love putting on my costume, mouth guard, and dolling up WWF style - but when it actually comes to getting in that ring and body slamming my barriers that keep me from experiencing complete unity with Christ, I always find an excuse.

These are the pros and cons of having really great people in your life who hold you accountable for living a life for Jesus.  Arizona makes it easy to not confront my own crap because I have no one to talk to about it.  Michigan surrounds me with great people, who give great hugs, and get my mind going and my heart settled in the realization that I am not playing the game or fighting the fight.

Here we go, New year 2011! 

Acts 2 (a.k.a. East Lansing)


They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

So much on my heart right now, so many great conversations and hugs today and yesterday, so much to reflect on, and pray for. The hugs were the best. The fact that I didn't have to plan my conversations in the car before lunch or coffee, the fact that I new I could just run up and squeeze my blessed friends made me so stinkin' happy. I probably recruited 20 people to move to Tucson, and I am hoping the get some visitors out of that.

Blog posts coming about scripture and wise words I've listened to and read the past couple of days, but for tonight I'm journaling the sweet little memories of two splendid days with friends I can share eternity with.

Praise God for Acts 2 communities and a new Campus Corner Michigan State T-Shirt (mine had a HUGE hole in the armpit).

reading.

Currently being tossed around in the purse -

In my never ending quest to learn more about writing, grace, and faith - the author of my favorite book "Cold Tangerines" came out with another collection of stories from her life that are proving to move my heart in challenging but great ways.

"Bittersweet" by Shauna Niequist


I've just finished a 45 hour class (with another 45 next semester!) and my teacher has declared that he is an atheist several times, and often finds ways to incorporate his opinion/belief into all that he is talking about.  Leading me to have the increasing desire to have a sturdier foundation of what I believe, why I believe, and how can I correlate this in an adult conversation?

"There is a God" by Antony Flew

Given as a gift to me in college, I had never gotten around to this - but since I am church shopping at the moment and still trying to figure out where my niche falls between Catholicism and Non-denominational sectors of the chuch.


"They Like Jesus but Not the Church" by Dan Kimball

Bittersweet

"Use what you have, use what the world gives you.  Use the first day of fall: bright flame before winter's deadness; harvest; orange, gold, amber; cool nights and the smell of fire... Use your dreams and your secrets and your neglected, hidden imagination.

Write a love song for someone who will never love you back.  Write a comedy that used to be a tragedy, because you can create any ending you want for your own story. Write a song that says everything you've ever wanted to say to your father, or fill a canvas with all the things you hope you find out that God is, when you meet him someday.

Dance till your feet bleed, sing till you're hoarse, spill aout all your stories like pouring wine into thing-stemmed glasses, the liquid rich and blood-red.  Get up.  Create like you're training for a marathon, methodically, day by day.  Learn your tricks, find a friend, leave the dirty dishes in the sink for a while.  This is your chance to become what you believe deep in your secret heart you might be.  Do the work, learn the skills, and make art, because of what the act of creation will create in you." (Page 163)

[Shauna Niequist]

humbled

That's right, there were NO pictures :) Humbled daily and learning that I suck at mass mailings. Another reason why asking for help is good. Any volunteers to edit next year's Christmas letter?



what's wrong with this picture?


To my dearest family and friends,
It is with great eagerness that I begin writing my first adult Christmas letter! I debated going the e-mail route, thought about sending you a picture of me with my 482 Sunrise students, or just writing a little 2-3 sentence blurb in a Hallmark card.  None of those seemed suiting for the joy in my heart and the love I feel for this season and the people I miss so much. So read on! 
Twenty ten has been a year of growth, risks, and adventures.  Nine months ago I was still a Michigan State Spartan learning to be a teacher and now I am teaching 482+ kiddos daily. The mentorship I received from my student teaching experience and love from the families I spent time with in East Lansing was pertinent to the success of living on my own. Nothing will ever replace the year of memories with the beautiful Burley family (right), the communities of Williamston and Bath, and my friends in Young Life and at Riverview Church. 
Summer was filled with the comforts and familiarities of home. Saline friends and co-workers, Mom’s cooking, Dad’s golf advice, and many journal pages filled with prayers for a job with benefits.  When it was clear that my path would venture out west, courage and excitement filled my heart.  My four day trip in my fully loaded Ford Escape was an adventure I will never forget (picture when I entered AZ to the left).  I am the girl who once had to spray my teddy bear with Mom’s perfume; moving across the country was not a plan that my homesick heart would have a trend of being successful at.  Cincinnati, Nashville and Albuquerque were highlights on the trip and I’m eternally grateful for the protection of my little Escape.
With about 5 months of teaching under my belt I’ve learned more from my students then they have learned from me.  I’ve had visits from tarantulas and rattlesnakes, learned how excited desert dwellers are for rain, keep Elmer’s glue on hand for run-ins with cacti, and removed the words grass, overcast, and fog from my vocabulary. 
Without internet and cable, I’ve enjoyed spending time catching up on my horrible movie collection and realized that you don’t need weather.com in a state that is sunny 99.9% of the time. Walking outside to get oranges and grapefruit is common, running up ridiculously steep hills is not an option, and frequent house calls to my Arizona family helps me get through my hug cravings.  I am residing in the comforts of my Aunt Lexy’s old snow bird place and continually grateful for the ways God provides.
I know absolutely nothing about what 2011 has in store but I do know better than to think that I am in control.  God’s plan surpassed anything I could have imagined for 2010.  I pray for patience and peace in your heart and hope for great blessings this Christmas season and into 2011.  I challenge you to take risks and adventures of your own...knowing that if you want some sun, warm weather, or just some good laughs of watching a midwest girl survive the desert - my door is always open!
I pray for the hope of God’s message for the Christmas season and the grace and peace that come from believing in the story of Jesus. I hope that 2011 is nothing but good news and great joy for you and your family.
All my Love,
Lauren

advent conspiracy

As a full contender in the Advent Conspiracy that Maryclaire and the Burley's brought to my attention, I have found it increasingly difficult to stay focused this Christmas season on the "reason for the season."

Worship fully.
Spend less.
Give more.
Love all.

I am praying that my heart will be more available then what it has been the past couple of weeks.  That I will truly take in the blessings of this season.  Surrounded by a family who strives on the commercial significance of the holiday, I am eager to find the glimpse of light in the simple joy of knowing that we are around the table together in celebration of love.  Not only the celebration of love but also of many other things that create a heart ready for the birth and coming of Christ.

A celebration of changes - increased distances with decreased time.
A celebration of what is next - forgetting what has hurt us and remembering what restoration lies ahead.
A celebration of the heart - evaluating the content of my heart in Christ and the honesty that comes from a thorough dusting.

A celebration if hope - that Jesus was born to save each and every person in this world.  Something no one else can do or will ever do, until He comes again.

In so many ways this is the beginning of something new, even more new then the New Year.

Last year I was known for famously putting up ten fingers in every photo taken by Al J (see below), but this year I'm keeping it simple.


Ideas for 2011?

captured.


How can words even describe these friendships?  It's not just the one's pictured above.  It's in the calls asking me to come for a Mason Depot breakfast, watching my Mt. Clemens friend love her precious daughter as she grows a 2nd baby, and it's in the history of these ladies above.

I realized tonight that when I drive my friends home, I find myself going under the speed limit because I don't want time to end.  I realized today that my best friends can be the one's I've known the longest or who seem the farthest ahead of me in life.  I realized today that I cannot live without these friendships. I couldn't stop hugging Claire, I wanted to squeeze all the love out of Al before she leaves for Singapore, and Anna I wish she would just keep sharing her stories, keep telling me how it is.  So many exciting things in their lives and so much history in ours. My prayer is that my children can have the friendships I've been blessed with.  My heart craves these girls and the unique traits that they bring to this world...although I do wish they would grow so I would stop being the giant in the pictures!

Love, Always, Forever

home.

C'mon, you thought I'd leave you hanging with pictures of me on sleep deprived and whacked out on caffeine? Nope, here's a refreshing one for you to see :)  Snuggled in, listening to Christmas Carols and entering grades.  Ahhh...perfection.  Praying that you are settled in tonight and holding on to the hope of a beautiful season ahead.
Angels we have heard on high
Sweetly singing o'er the plains,
And the mountains in reply
Echoing their joyous strains.

Gloria, in excelsis Deo!
Gloria, in excelsis Deo!

Shepherds, why this jubilee?
Why your joyous strains prolong?
What the gladsome tidings be
Which inspire your heavenly song?

Come to Bethlehem and see
Christ Whose birth the angels sing;
Come, adore on bended knee,
Christ the Lord, the newborn King.

See Him in a manger laid,
Whom the choirs of angels praise;
Mary, Joseph, lend your aid,
While our hearts in love we raise.

a tucson bonfire

Wrapping up a week of school and knowing that two full weeks of rest, relaxation, and friends were ahead I accepted an invitation to join two Tucson friends under the starlight.  The sun had long set, the night sky was glistening with big dots of glitter and the mountains casted a deep black shadow in the sky.  Anna and I carried the wood out to the pit, grabbed a bottle of Merlot and a bag of marshmallows, and I dug around my purse for the lighter I had brought.

Our first attempt to light the bonfire failed. My two friends, one a New York Columbia female alumna and the other a UCONN Husky alumni depended on the stereotype that all Michiganders knew how to make fire.  My first question was, "Do you have lighter fluid?"  Laughing and remembering the last time I watched my Michigan friend create fire of the beaches of Lake Michigan, I knew three things.

1. You need dry wood and scrapping under the wood.
2. You need to stack the wood in a cool formation.
3. You need some kind of catalyst to spread what is started (lighter fluid, air, or actual fire).

I created this log fort with a ripped Trader Joe's bag underneath, took my lighter and lit the area under the wood.  After another failed attempt to get the wood to light and an dwindling resource of paper bags, I tried lighting three areas, added a touch of my exhaled air, and wa-la we had a fire!

The evening was spent chatting about where we've been, who we are, and what our dreams are.  All three of us dove into the past, present, and future of falling in love stories.  After refills of Merlot and burnt marshmallows on skewers, we realized one thing - we are three completely different co-workers - Jewish, Christian, and "Anglo-Saxton," covering all three parts of the political spectrum, and working hard in the same profession - but we are all battling what society tells us should be the next part of our story.

Maybe there is a specific way to make a fire, maybe with all the right materials that fire just still won't start, and maybe I'm lighting the wrong fire. Alot of where my heart is right now lies in the uncertainty of what materials I need, what process I am going to try, and where I am going to light that fire.

Signing out from the airport in Phoenix, getting ready to take off into my comfortable mitten, I am looking forward to fireside conversations with my friends and family.  I am praying for depth and honesty as I get to embrace the stories of people who know me so well and love others so incredibly.


the perfect gift


a perfect christmas gift
to your enemies, forgiveness.
to an opponent, tolerance.
to a friend, your heart.
to a customer, service.
to all, charity,
to every child, a good example
to yourself, respect.

and this.

My Younglife leader has had the Belief Project this as her link in G-Chat for a while.  Thought I'd share, seems like a fantastic and powerful idea, that I do not do nearly enough.

so cool.

Fascinated by things like this.

King of Love.

Elvis was at my church last night. We are starting a series called "Christmas in Graceland" and apparently the best way to kick it off was with the king of hunk-a-burning love himself.



That's all.

December 2

Teacher Calender Quote of the Day
 
"The spirited horse, which will try to win the race of its own accord, will run even faster if encouraged."
[Ovid]

Praise God for friends getting jobs, little ladies growing up, community all around the world, and phone conversations that seem to answer life's questions.

Praying for a progressive and aggressive start to December :)

for the record.

Let it be recorded that today is November 28th and it is the first day I have worn socks all day in Tucson.  A chilly 52 degrees with clouds overtook our foothills today and tonight we are dipping into the high 30's! No heat yet, but tonight might be the night. It was weird to lay out by the pool the day after Thanksgiving and to go for a hike in shorts and a t-shirt... I'm looking forward to a Michigan Christmas where unpredictable weather is a part of the pattern! Who knows, maybe I'll bring Tucson's warmth back to the mitten?

Speaking of mittens, I am thanking God for keeping you warm where ever you are tonight. Whether you are celebrating being a part of a Big 10 team or still in your post turkey coma....

"Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done." 
[1 Chronicles 16:8]

thankful for family.


a thankful heart allows love into places not yet repaired or not yet touched.
thankfulness allows God's light to shine even in your darkest moments.

thankful for lost teeth and BIG smiles.


thankful for dreams.

Go to Youtube and type in "Sunrise Steppers"...  You will find the motivator to get our kiddos out and about! A dream come true.

seeing.


"I believe in God like I believe in the sunrise. 
Not because I can see it, 
but because I can see 
all that it touches." 
[C.S. Lewis]

Made me Happy

During one of my last 2004 CC races a friend requested a song from the Lizzie McGuire soundtrack to be played while we raced.  The song opens with a line that struck me during my high school quest to figure out who I was and where I was going in life.

"You're always dress in yellow . when you wanna dress in gold. instead of listenin' to your heart. you do just what you're told. if you keep waiting where you are. oh what you'll never know. so let's just get into your car, and go baby go!"

When reports starting coming out about Hilary and her struggles with eating and body image, I started praying. I was frustrated with the media and with the events in Hilary's life that led her to disrespect her health and her God given beauty. Hilary was quite the celebrity role model for me and I loved watching her show in 7th and 8th grade. Since we were both blonde, it was only natural for me to root for her over Mary Kate, Ashley, and Lindsey.

So here is a small but incredibly powerful tidbit worth sharing. If you look back at my May 2005 prayer request journal, Hilary Duff was there.  Who knew? Progress is in Prayer but the key is patience for God's timing.  5 years later I stumble upon this little article and smile in my morning routine.  It was something worth blogging, and something worth wondering about.  How often do prayers come through and how often do I forget to be thankful?

God works in the craziest ways.  I love when you remember the prayer and see the result. It's our faith, our persistence, and our confidence in God's timing that covers us in our gold.

Song of the Moment

Ain't no rhyme or reason
No complicated meaning
Ain't no need to over-think it
Let go, laughing
Life don't go quite like you planned it
We try so hard to understand it
The irrefutable, indisputable fact is
Pshh It happens

Exercise Fun :)

I PRed this morning at the 5k :)

Today's Race was clocked at 26 flat, but my watch from start to finish read 25:13. This is far from my best time of 22:53, but I'll take it!

Thought I'd share with any running enthusiasts who read this.  Also, Groupons.com and livingsocial.com have been providing me with affordable ways to enjoy some of the fun things around the area.  I just bought a pass to Rocks and Ropes to conquer my fear of putting on a harness and rock climbing.  Wishing I had Selma Nunes with me to cheer me on :)

Grateful for another midwest blessing when I did get a taste of Autumn by finishing in a corn maze today.  Refreshing for the heart :)

pumpkin guts.

Everyone down here has passports and going to Mexico is equivalent to taking a trip up north in Michigan.  Several students have homes in Mexico where they house luxury boats, wave runners, and probably their own Starbucks.  

I just racked up a couple thousand miles going to Chicago last weekend, will be home in Detroit for Christmas, and plan on seeing Seattle over spring break. I feel fortunate that I can travel, that penny pinching is working in my favor, and that there are several friends and family members I long to visit!

On my trip to Chicago last weekend I had a few thoughts that I was working through. All I can say is that one should never underestimate the power of making a brainstorm web.  A trick we learn to group ideas in elementary school is a very useful tool when it comes to organizing the path of your future. 

One of the main things I learned is how much pumpkin guts I've got. God is really doing some crazy work with me, some risky moves, and he is just carving and scooping out so much gunk. Just when I feel like he is really scraping the flesh of the pumpkin, he digs a little deeper, cuts a little closer, and scoops a little more. 

Continually I'm hearing, "Do not hesitate, Do not falter" - Over and over I am realizing the importance of my position in Christ and the effect I do have on those around me.  I need a fresh perspective - I need to not be weighed down by the pumpkin guts.  

Today, after I got home all I was craving was an afternoon of comfort and relaxation - but my body and my mind will not shut off.  It was as if all the empty space that I feel like God is scooping out needs to be filled with more, replaced with my thoughts and my beliefs.  

When really, I'm thinking God is saying - crave me, travel to me, choose me, listen to me, study me, read me, live for me.  Well God, keep scooping - I sure hope the baked pumpkin seeds from my pumpkin guts are something worth eating. 

No passport, paycheck, or airline mileage is going to reach my destination on this journey.  The only transportation to giving it all to God, is...well...giving it all to God :) 

praise God for moments.

I came closer to understanding the price Jesus paid on the cross last weekend.  Completely humbled and broken at the suffering He went through for me and for us - I'm surrounded by the complete comprehension of suffering and pain in order to reveal God's glory, God's love, and God's greater plan.

Here is a photo of my cousin Melissa and I at my sister's bridal shower last weekend :) It was a moment in time where everything good and bad came together to make sense.  It was great to have family in town.  And there is a picture of my first bulletin board - all the 3/4/5 graders brought in pictures of themselves being physically active... it was quite the creation and excitement of the school!

My heart overflows with compassion for all of you - whatever your joy or pain is today, whatever gut wrenching sadness or overwhelming passion and happiness that consumes you right now, turn it to Jesus.  He has muscles of steel and a heart of gold :)

It's simple really.

The mind is a busy place.  
I find myself wondering what the world was like before sticky notes or who says that cereal is a breakfast food.  I love challenging myself to see just how long I can keep reading before I fall asleep with the light on or how fast I can run up the tremendous hills out here before I think my lungs are going to collapse. I wonder what God's intentions were when he created such beautiful sunsets and sunrises in some parts of the world, but a completely breathtaking autumn bloom in others.  I wonder how I would remove cacti from my arm if I didn't have Elmer's glue, or what how much money I would of saved if Einstein Coffee existed in East Lansing. I feel enthralled with all of the terrain in the desert that has yet to be grazed, walked on, or touched by human hands.  Constantly I desire to know the reason for politics, for sides, for arguments.  Talk radio is my friend in the morning right now, a song list on Grooveshark keeps me company during late nights at work, and the chitter chatter of 474 students at Sunrise loving P.E. fills the gaps. 

It's simple really.  If the mind is filled with good, so will be my heart, my intentions, my actions. If it is the alternative - a result will be less desirable.  

I'm desiring that overflow of goodness.  Not these busy thoughts that lead to dead ends - but clarity and understanding that my mentality needs to be rooted in truth and not always meandering in my opinions, my desires, and my life.  

Tucson pictures to come soon friends.  It's big out here.

Big with mountains and sunshine.  Big with populations and commercialization.  Big with poverty and politics.  Big with diversity and hospitality.  Big with lifestyles and appearance. 

I guess it is a simple kinda Big, know what I mean?

Noah and I are bff's

I've heard people say the world doubles in information every 5 years.
I've been feeling like it is every 2 minutes, i'm flooded with a wealth of new people, protocol, terrain, and cultures :)

Updates to come soon, just know that Tucson's mountains sing praises of God's endless love. 

It's beautiful out here. I've seen a rainbow every day since I've been here - a reminder of God's promise to Noah as well as a reminder to me of what God has guaranteed us in heaven.

Minus the lizard that came into the house last night, that was not fun. 

Noah and I are bff's

I've heard people say the world doubles in information every 5 years.
I've been feeling like it is every 2 minutes, i'm flooded with a wealth of new people, protocol, terrain, and cultures :)

Updates to come soon, just know that Tucson's mountains sing praises of God's endless love. 

It's beautiful out here. I've seen a rainbow every day since I've been here - a reminder of God's promise to Noah as well as a reminder to me of what God has guaranteed us in heaven.

Minus the lizard that came into the house last night, that was not fun. 

my word.

I'm not signed on a dotted line yet, but I am verbally committed to a position in Arizona.

I'm jumping to GLORIFY God in all that I do.
My choices & my free will, His Beautiful Plan.
A little farewell midwest to-do list.

- visits with my michigan friends, community, and family :)
- Peanut Butter/Bananna/Chocolate Razzle from Turtle Tom's
- Fort Building & Hoe-down throw down
- A Hudson Mills Jog, Town Loop Jog, and Hill workout at Mill Pond
- A Bird Lake Boat Ride
- Jesus time in Lillie park
- Drowsy Parrot Italian Soda
- Bananagrams on the deck
- Barefoot Backyard Frisbee

And that's all I got for this morning.

little leaps.

Well friends,
My heart goes out to all of your beautiful faces tonight.
God bless those who take leaps of faith.

It was a campaigner weekend, possibly the one that James Granger spoke at, where I first heard this "leap of faith" concept. All I know is that I wrote it in sharpie on my bible cover, and later on my duck taped journal for wilderness.

Right now I struggle with the power of patience and the power of starting. I struggle with knowing what the leap of faith is in this decision.  Is the leap going, or is the leap staying?

There are three things in life you can never get back: time, missed opportunity, and spoken words.

This is an opportunity. I do not know where it will take me, I do not know how long I'll be gone, but mentally I am concluding that this is opportunity will be missed if I choose not to take it. Therefore friends, it is with great excitement for a career and a new journey that I gather my belongings and move to Tucson, AZ.

With nothing but my midwest heart, my pure Michigan spirits, and my windy Chicago roots - I'm venturing cross country to the west.  To a state that cannot be represented by any body part, has very little water or greenery, and is vastly controlled by the power of Air Conditioning.

As much as it hurts to know what I am risking, I can only imagine how much more it will hurt if I never tried.

This is coming from the girl who sprayed her teddy bear with mom's perfume all the way into 6th grade, this is coming from the 17 year old girl who couldn't be on work crew for a month because she felt too far from home.  Don't think I won't miss you, because I will. Don't think I won't bawl, it's going to happen. My heart is set on staying in my comfort zone but there is something bigger then my heart, and that is God's plan.

For some reason, God continuously thinks I can rally through these really BIG things. And I'm here to say, again, "Really?"

Yes, Really.

Scripture and prayers welcomed today, indeed everyday.

Love to you all, and I am still praying for a Michigan Miracle.

5 Step Plan.


I'm all about simplicity these days.  Make it sweet and short, simple and to the point.  This strikes me well
SETH GODIN's SIMPLE FIVE STEP PLAN

The number of people you need to ask for permission keeps going down:
1. Go, make something happen.
2. Do work you're proud of.
3. Treat people with respect.
4. Make big promises and keep them.
5. Ship it out the door.
When in doubt, see #1.

one final time.

My Dad's side of the family will be gathering this weekend in Scottsdale, Arizona.
The Washington Wojciks and Michigan Wojciks will be coming to celebrate the graduation of (Melissa Rose Buettner) MRB from Horizon High School. 


Let me tell you.  My Dad, his older brother and younger sister are all the most hard working people I know.  They grew up on the south side of Chicago with nothing and everything at the same time.  Money was tight, the neighborhood was dangerous, and school was paid for out of their own pockets with the jobs THEY worked as kids.  It's crazy to see how far they have come, how they all beat the odds and made lives for themselves and their families. 

This beautiful graduating lady will be attending ASU and studying Sustainable Business. She is the youngest cousin on my dad's side of the family and we are all feeling twinges of pain about it!  She is the baby and our last reason to spend ridiculous amounts of time together.

- James (32) was the first to graduate and attend West Point and is doing something successful right now, he's great.
- Chris (28) is DJing it up in Seattle and is Chris the Radio Dude on Movin' 92.5 FM.  He's a big teddy bear.
- Lynn (27), my sister, was the next and is now out in AZ getting ready to be engaged to Adam in November 2010 :)  HOORAY!
- Bri and I followed (23) and are now starting our careers, doing nothing important but trying not to screw up too bad :) 
- Then there was Jeff (20) who has just started his own Real Estate Company called The Buettner Team, and if you are looking to buy a house anywhere in the US he can get you in touch with a trustworthy realator.  
- And now MRB, our baby.  
\
My Aunt Sharon and I had a heart to heart this past friday and decided to start praying. This family has a reputation for throwing good parties, mixing great drinks, and having a great time - but more then that we are a family who has overcome the adversity of long distance and are capable of making a dent in the kingdom of heaven.  God's will be done - mold my heart to the discipline and love of Christ so His words, His sovereignty, and His forgiveness will change the core of my worldly family towards the only one who will save us all.

  

love like Jesus.


The bittersweet ending of a time spent with four beautiful people swirled with the whirlwind of a trip to Arizona, a place that seems weird to think about calling home.  Reminding me of the note I wrote at 3 in the morning of my departure day. Laying on the denim couches, curled up after finishing season 10 of FRIENDS while writing to K and M that I was I felt like we were breaking up.

No more couch conversations, "Pee Potty's" and Hazelnut dates. No more Miggle smiles, cute sister giggles, or Macbook photoshoots. No more popcorn and pineapple chats, stories about our days, 6:45 p.m. routines, or sweet little hands brushing the hair out of my face. No more mixed matched bows, "Is she crawling yet!?", or  blue SIGG water bottles.

All I could do was sob and laugh, God really does have a sense of humor. Who breaks up with four people at once? This departure from 422 Coventry Lane has made me realize something huge.  I might just call it an EPIC mental breakthrough in understanding my walk with Christ. 

All though I have never dated anyone I have still fallen in love. After three weeks of chocolate eating, reminiscing over past pictures, teary messages, numerous calls/texts/emails, stalking facebook, and talking nonstop to anyone who would listen about these four people- I realized, my heart wasn't broken but overflowing.

I thought it was broken.  Leaving something I've known for 5 years, and end to a big chapter of my life, a "Goodbye" to something that I'm not sure I'll get to see again, and the biggest break of all - stepping out of community. But it's not about losses.  It's about gains.

God is teaching me to embrace opportunities to fall in love with my friends who became my family in the light of Christ. Maybe I am oblivious, but I've never actually seen my friends and families from a "fall in love" perspective. 

Why can't it be that way?  What would relationships look like if we treated them with the respect of our first love? How much deeper would our conversations be if we took the time to treat each other as the most important member of our family, and not just someone who lives in the basement of our house?  What if we stopped treating people like substitutes for absent people in our lives and started treating them like as if they were the only love we've ever had.  That's what Jesus does.  Undivided attention, open fridge, table set for a guest, a spare bed, a basement room in 422 Coventry, sharing two beautiful daughters, and an open door to live life together. Yup, that's love. Everyone deserves that. 

We didn't break up, no one cheated on each other, God is still at the center of our friendship, and my love for the Burley's is so strong that I need to share it, spread it, glorify God with it. It is way to alive for me to keep bottled in. It was the most beautiful and precious gift I have ever been blessed with  :) 

Stop.

"...[W]hen it comes to most of our daily decisions, and even a lot of life's 'big' decisions, God expects and encourages us to make choices, confident that He's already predetermined how to fit our choices into His sovereign will. Passivity is a plague among Christians. It's not just that we don't do anything; it's that we feel spiritual for not doing anything. We imagine that our inactivity is patience and sensitivity to God's leading. At times it may be; but it's also quite possible we are just lazy. When we hyper-spiritualize our decisions, we can veer off into impulsive and foolish decisions. But more likely as Christians we fall into endless patterns of vacillation, indecision, and regret. No doubt, selfish ambition is a danger for Christians, but so is complacency, listless wandering, and passivity that pawns itself off as spirituality."

Kevin DeYoung. 2009. Just Do Something. Chicago: Moody Publishers. p. 51.

a decade ago.

Found our Saline Middle School Memory Book today for the Class of 2005 -

They asked us in 8th grade, "What do you think you will be doing in 2010?"

My response: I will be an elementary teacher or traveling the world.

I'm close to that right? Certified PE teacher and I'm Arizona bound on Thursday for 21 days. Maybe I'll road trip it down to Mexico to make it "traveling the world."

Ha. Wow, that is cool to see those dreams coming true, but yet they still seem so far away.

OK, so justifiably what would my dreams be for 2020 right now? I'd be 33 years old, which is great because I know a lot of stellar 33 year olds :)

I will be spreading the good news and loving others.

OK OK. That's a given I hope.

I will have my masters in public health and traveling the world?
I will be successfully combatting childhood obesity and traveling the world?
I will be changing physical education and nutrition policy in schools, and traveling the world?
I will be married and traveling the world?
I will be a mama and staying at home, while traveling the world?

I think this is my realistic dream for 2020.
I will be working in something public health that is non profit, organizing road races/marathons, redecorating and gutting my first house, falling in love, and exploring the world on crosscountry skis and a bike.

That was fun. I recommend you post your dreams too.

beautiful reminder.

I was so unique
Now I feel skin deep
I count on the make-up to cover it all
Crying myself to sleep cause I cannot keep their attention
I thought I could be strong
But it's killing me

Does someone hear my cry?
I'm dying for new life

[Chorus]
I want to be beautiful
Make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart,
and be amazed
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
Just want to be worthy of love
And beautiful

Sometimes I wish I was someone other than me
Fighting to make the mirror happy
Trying to find whatever is missing
Won't you help me back to glory

[Chorus]

You make me beautiful
You make me stand in awe
You step inside my heart, and I am amazed
I love to hear You say
Who I am is quite enough
You make me worthy of love and beautiful

anna grace reminder

Gradually,
I will get older
I will get wiser
I will move slower
I will see clearer
I'll over come
I will acknowledge
How far I have come.

[rosie thomas]

Is it comfort talking?

Friday I stumbled, again. Irrational thoughts and leaky words. An unstable heart and feet that shake. A heart that doubts and a soul that wanders. It's a battle worth fighting, a team worth recruiting, and a faith worth protecting.

I think I am ready for this phase. I trust that I am, I have no idea what is about to unfold. I wait and I reflect. I take baby steps. I work on self control. I know that God's plan is bigger then mine, that this is a time of discomfort and questions - but that doesn't help the incredible feeling that I am supposed to stay. Is that just comfort talking?

Surrounded by encouraging couch conversations and a simply amazing couple for Christ. Beautiful two year old smiles and questions. A little lady crawling and exploring. A community that could use what I have to offer. Extended friends and family who I didn't know until this year. A social life that means way more then it used to but looks less then ever before. A heart that has been changed. A heart that needs accountability. I want to keep learning, meeting, and loving.

This year was not what I expected. Social ties cut, new paths paved, a heart taking risks and battling wounds, a desire to do something bigger then what I had planned.

How do I get there? Where do I start? Is there an opportunity waiting for me, will someone extend the "I believe in you" card and take a risk? Will I be teaching or doing something completely different? Will it be another internship? Will it be a part-time job? Will I be Queen of Genovia?

Or will I find a job, have insurance, and wake up every day for school, and live the comfort of a life I've always "dreamed" of? That sounds comfortable, right?

I want to contribute, plan, travel, organize, motivate, meet, love, share, dream, and vision. I want to plant seeds, raise support, build a community, fight for a cause, and see it all come together.

Let me know if you find a job description that fits.

blue suede shoes

Can't get this song out of my head. The piano, the lyrics, the soul searching feel - so fantastic.

winner, winner CHICKEN DINNER!

WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER!
I won the 2nd Annual Wojcik family March Madness Bracket!

NoDoughBRO CHAMPION
No Money, Bragging Rights Only.

Had the tourney champion picked.
Score of 121.
38 Correct Picks.
Next person (my mom) was at a score of 83.

Consider this my bragging. Plus whatever I'll pull out in Arizona :)

I love that my family is so competitive, but I do wish I would gain possession of the OSU/MSU dollar bill - Dad's been hanging onto that one for a bit too long.

Thanks to CBSsports.com for organizing our long distance rivalry. You make it so much easier for us to compete :)

this one's for real.

Never put a comma where God puts a period 
AND 
Never put a period where God puts a comma

It's not over until God says it's over.

As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. "Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." At once they left their nets and followed him. Going on from there, he saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John. They were in a boat with their father Zebedee, preparing their nets. Jesus called them, and immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him. 
[Matthew 4:18-22]


East Lansing feels like an end.

As much as it can get me down to think about leaving my Spartan city, I faithfully wait for the moment Jesus says, "Come follow me."  

I pray that I can leave at once, drop my nets, and follow Him.

No strings attached.  A leap, a gallop, a skip towards the next phase - and immediately know that the God of the whole universe is protecting me.

The will of God will never take me where the grace of God won't protect me.

You all know well, that my ability to embrace change is not usually met with an optimistic spirit. Prayers are welcomed. My heart keeps referring to "It's Not About Me" by Max Lucado and "Through Painted Desserts" by Donald Miller as great examples of stories and people who have dropped everything and gone. 

Prepare my heart Lord.

Even if dropping everything means staying put. :)  Oh mixed signals. 

What's it there for?

James Granger did it again.  His wisdom and words have come up again in my studies of scripture. Whenever you see therefore, you have to ask yourself, WHAT IS IT THERE FOR?   


Welp, here we go Hebrews 12:1-3.


"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."  [Hebrews 12:1-3]


I read that passage and I laughed.  I am surrounded by clouds of witnesses, and these witnesses come in packages - packages of FAMILES!  And let me tell you,  God continues to put families in my life. Christ centered, Jesus loving, gospel fighting families who are battling together with their loved ones to further the kingdom of heaven. Each family has their own passion, their own gifts, and their own biblical perspective - but at the root of everything is a man who died on the cross.  Their motivation is His grace, their heart is rooted in His word, and their compassion stems from the hope of spreading the love of God.



Thank you for sharing you life, compassion, listening ears, wisdom and love with me :) It is my hope to have a family, in whatever form it may take on - resembling the fruit and passion of Christ that you have all shown me.


Love to you all and to your beautiful children of God!

Oh the places you'll Go!

Hey there good lookin' friends. 

There is nothing life living life in it's rarest most raw beauty.  That is what I did on the phone with my beautiful friend the other day. Sitting in tears over the fogginess of a great future that lies in front of us, hurting for the unknowns, and gleefully praising the God who is with us through it all.  

I remembered Dr. Seuss' book, "Oh the Places You'll Go!"  and quickly passed the encouragement along.  Sometimes faithful thinking from a child's perspective, draws us closest to the one who created us for incredible things.

Congratulations!

Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own.  And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.
You'll look up and down streets.  Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any
you'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.

It's opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen,
don't worry.  Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.

OH!
THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!
You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't
Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted.  But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out?  Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored.  there are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame!  You'll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don't.
Because, sometimes, they won't.

I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike
and I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!
 
[Dr. Seuss]