can't --> can.

there is this power in learning something new.
challenging yourself.
making a can't into a CAN.

I'm living it right now.
I'll never be able to get that fore hand toss in Frisbee. HA!
Stand on a skateboard without help? yeah right!
graduate college? mom didn't, how will I?
teach kids with a speech impediment and hearing aids? out of reach.
move home to spread Christ's love to my parents. no way hose, i do what I want.

If only I could explain the feeling inside the pit of my stomach every time I glide around on Dilyn's longboard. It's this deep satisfaction of knowing I accomplished a fear, a challenge, and overcame this insecurity that CAN'Ts put on my heart.

Now I've got this other pile of can'ts, never would I evers, and unworthys in front of me that I have to tackle, mess around with, and sort out. It's that white elephant I talked about. How are you doing with your white elephant?

It's a bit daunting...but why do I have all those things anyways? They don't need to be there, I pile them there. Those cants, not so muches and heck nos are only there because I put them there, because I build those walls and say "Never would I ever!." They are there because I believe what society tells me, because I fall for the love of others and not for the love of Christ.

Next thing I know I'll be cleaning public restrooms for fun, speaking in front of large crowds, surfing, rockclimbing, and moving to a foreign country thousands of miles from home. Yeah right. I'de never do that. No way. HA, funny thought God, funny thought.