mumble jumble and the open road

Tempted to treat myself to a trip in May. But I'm fearful realist who is to protective of my money and time.

That aside....Let's dream for the rest of the blog post.
Should I fly?
Should I drive?
Should I visit people I know?
Or make this an independent trip?
Would my parents let me go somewhere just to go? Haha. Can't believe I still ask myself that.
First places that come to mind to fly are Arizona, Colorado, and Oregon. People I love are there and they are all so eager to show me around and introduce me to the city they love. Plus those are all three areas I'd love to be in the near future as a teacher.

But I also really just want to drive, I want to clear my head of all the jumble that is rattling around and just...head east or west or north or south.

I want to drive and pull off the highway, find a trail and go for a run. I want to camp out in my car, in the tent I don't have, stay at a 5 star resort...I want to stop in a little town early for breakfast and chat with the locals. I want to discover God in other places. See God in unknowns. Live life without my plan for a week or two and just embrace the road that God has in front of me.

One problem. I get tired when I drive more then 1.5 hours. I'd make it to Ohio and have to pull off. It might take a while to reach a worthwhile destination. Such is a life in faith and a walk with God....right?

The possibilities are endless to my heart when I have the first free summer in four years. No summer classes, minimal working hours, and a empty planner.

It looks like a time to go before all the celebrations in June, the 40 hour work schedules from June to August, before I start a summer job researching and lesson planning.

It's not a act of finding myself. Just an act of de-jumbling myself. Giving myself an excuse to work out all the garbage I have in my head, my heart, my faith.

Ok. Maybe it is finding myself. But I like to see it as more of trying not to LOSE myself .

Make sense? Mumble jumble? Good that's what it is to me too.

victory for MSU.

What a weekend. Two incredible basketball games for one great team. Ever since I've been a Spartan, I can't remember the amount of excitement that has been buzzing on this campus. Green and White is worn by all, remains of Spartan tattoos are left on cheeks, human tunnels are formed for people passing by on Albert street near the bars, and renditions of the Spartan fight song are heard all over campus...it is a celebration of a team that has stayed motivated, worked hard, and worked together to accomplish a goal that no other team in the Big 10 did this year.

For those of you having trouble being motivated (or sleeping) because your mind is dancing with repeats of the Midwest regional game; of Goran Suton's rebounds and seventeen points in the first half, and your heart is beating along to Durrell Summer's 10 points to top of the end of the game, or just the energy on the court when we rushed Louisville's offense into desperate shooting range and forced rebounders out of position... take caution.

We have a five days until game time. Stay focused, stay on top of your work, and be the Spartans that we have always been. The Spartan that works hard, does all the behind the scene work, never quits, has no fear, and perseveres. Come game time on Saturday we will be ready to be the best fans we can be.
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On that note. Two quotes I'd like to share from after the game yesterday.

Q. Travis, could you tell us what your emotions were after the game. You were down there on the court. Looked like a pretty intense moment for you.

TRAVIS WALTON: "I was thanking God. We pray. I pray. Woke up at 7:00 this morning and prayed and prayed and prayed. He delivered for us. Like I said, we believe in each other. Our coaches did an excellent job. One thing coach does is stick to his promises. He said, You get me through Friday, I'll do my best to get you through Sunday. My thought was, he had to stay up till 5 or 6 o'clock in the morning. Today we came down, had a great plan. Our walk-throughs, we had different things. Came back with a different plan this morning saying, You know what, we going to do it this way, that way. I know he stuck to his promise, what he was going to give to us. So I was thanking God for blessing me around the man like that who is going to stick to his promises and give our team everything he can give if we give him what we can give. That's what I was basically doing, thanking God."
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Q. Kalin, how far is your home from Ford Field?
KALIN LUCAS: It's about 10 minutes.

Q. So this is a home game?
KALIN LUCAS: Yes, it is a home game (smiling).

bundles of joy

My friend Brandy from high school just gave me a call yesterday to say that her and her husband are expecting! It was an incredibly cool moment in our friendship and in her life.

It's funny how friends who were so similar in high school are leading two completely different paces of life now. Oddly enough we can still always pick up where we left off and keep our friendship going.

With the Burley's, the Grutter's, and another family friend...Looks like August to November is going to be prime baby time.

I pray for Brandy's health, baby Grutter's health, and Zack's (the husband) incredible love for his family.

Sounds mushy gushy, but all these families are going to change the world :]

And Aunt Lauren will be right there to babysit!

the whole thing.

Where do things come from? Clothes, shoes, water bottles, crafting supplies, etc. Who made it? Where do they live? Are they happy making whatever they are making?

I'm always struck by the phrase "Live worldly but buy locally" because I don't understand it. Its great to support locally but what about our shoes that are made overseas? What about the people employed to produce my shoes.

These people make shoes for a living, who may have no chance to go to college and get an education. Are these people happy doing what they are doing? Do they know anything different?

What are their dreams? Their hopes? What does God have in store for them?

How do I appreciate what they do for me? Am I supposed to thank God for providing me with shoes, do I thank God for providing them with work, or do I go without those shoes because they are not providing the best working conditions possible for workers?

I know I am fortunate, "wealthy", and in midst of opportunities that many people only dream about. This brings me to the other quote which has convicted me ever since I saw it on a friends facebook info.

"I believe that the great tragedy of the church is not that rich Christians do not care about the poor, but that they do not know the poor."
[Shane Claiborne]

My scattered questioning here leads me to believe that I just really need experience, knowledge, wisdom.

I need to see.
I need to feel.

I need to stop being persuaded by the media, the blogs, the documentaries of other people and be the person who goes, who opens her eyes, who asks questions, who takes the clothes off her own back to share with those less fortunate then her.

The true thing is that I think they have a hope a dream, a passion, a faith that I crave, I desire, I want.
They might consider me the less fortunate one. The one consumed by pride, consumed by materialism, by worldly things.

I'm praying that God will show me the opportunity.

I need to get out of my bubble and break down these filters I have on the world.
My filter is only letting in chosen sun rays and I want to see the whole sunrise, north to south and east to west.

The Way I See It #299

"There is a subtle difference between a mission and a promise. A mission is something you strive to accomplish - apromise is something you are compelled to keep. One is individual, the other is shared. When a mission and a promise are one and the same...that's when mountains are moved and races are won."

[Hala Moddelmog]
President and CEO
Susan G. Komen for the Cure

straight and narrow.

my thoughts. my prayers. my dreams. my future. my life without relying on God.

my thoughts. my prayers. my dreams. my future. my life when relying on God.

straight and narrow.

cold tangerines

Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist

This woman has one heck of an insight on life. Her stories, her thoughts, her struggles, all seem to fall into place with me.

It is strange to hear myself say "me too" every time I turn the page. Usually I'm saying, "I wish" or "Never have I ever."

In reading this book I have deepened my respect for the concept of "shalom". I have a friend who just tattooed this on her wrist, and when she was telling me about Shalom...I was reading shauna's chapter.

The idea of Shalom gives me goosebumps; its incredible how prominent shalom has become in my prayers, my thoughts, and my cravings for a faith that dives deeper and spreads wider ever since reading that chapter.

"There is a way of living, a way of harmonizing and hitting a balance point, a converging of a thousand balance points and voices, layering together, twisting together, and their are moments when it all clicks into place just for a split second - God and marriage and forgiveness and something deep inside us that feels like peace - and that is the place I am trying to get to. I have glimpses every once in a while of this achingly beautiful way of living that comes when the plates stop spinning and the masks fall off and the apologies come from the deepest places and so do the prayers, and I am fighting, elbowing to make more of that in my life." [shauna niequist]


more reflections to come. for now it's back to the books and the studying (yes, over spring break).